Need some help and advice:
I'm new to this site, so I'll do my best to describe my problem:
I work with this girl whos really cool. But its been a real struggle for me at times because Im 24 and shes just shy of 19.
A little background: Ive never really been in a relationship before. Ive had crushes. Ive liked a lot of girls. But Ive never dated anyone longer than a couple months. That 2 month relationship was several years ago, and ever since, its been several years of mostly unsuccessful pursuits on multiple different dating apps and dating sites. Id nearly given up entirely when I met this girl. Immediately we hit it off, and she has opened my eyes to feelings and courage I never knew I was capable of along the way as weve gotten to know each other. Its such a wonderful feeling!
But while Ive enjoyed talking to her and feel more and more confident in myself each time I talk to her, Ive been feeling insecure about our age difference because Ive never connected with anyone like this. Whenever I mention her to my parents, they make it clear that they dont feel its worth my time pursuing anything because shes 5 years younger. My therapist tells me the same thing. But this girl understands my insecurity about my age and makes it clear often that she sees my heart and soul and not my age.
When I talk to my friends about this insecurity feeling, not a single one tells me to take the advice of my parents and therapist. All of them have told me to follow my heart and tell her I like her. They also advise me to keep trying with my parents and therapist in the hope theyll eventually come around. I want to eventually tell her I like her once I can work past my insecurity about my age. But I dont know how I can work past (or ignore) my insecurity properly when my parents and therapist are continuously telling me Im wasting my time.
@Presspacenut
I can honestly say that I've never been in a serious relationship before, but my mom was with a guy 10 years older than her for a period of time, and they were very happy together. The only thing that put a stop to their relationship was his addictions. I personally think that you should at least tell her. I know every situation is different though, so if YOU (emphasis on you) feel like there's something wrong with this situation, you can choose to not tell her. I hope I could help :)
First - Welcome to 7 cups. There are a lot of resources here that offer support and a listening ear - not really "advice" - but you don't need that anyway! I read that you want to tell her that you "like" her - hooray for a great start!. Getting to know someone gradually is the best way to build a relationship, no matter how it turns out. It is good to resect the :"advice" from your parents, and take into consideration the reasons why they say what they do. They love you, but you are old enough to make mature decisions .Therapy can help too, but you know how you feel more than anyone else. Taking it slow will allow time for emotions to grow naturally for both of you.
A work "romance" may be out of bounds depending on your employment rules. Consider that 19 year old girls will sometims be at a place emotionally where "falling in love" is a new and exotic dream . You sound like someone who is cautious not to fall for just anyone- that is smart at any age. It also helps to stay connected to ALL of your friends and do things that make you happy and fulfilled. I trust that things will fall in to place. Enjoy life and think of a little thing that will make her( and others) happy too.