New School. Friends Lost.

Hii so that title is like a bit idk… anyways I just started Sixth Form & gosh do I hate it!! A load of my friends moved to this other sixth form and won’t stop posting abt how much of a great time they’re having and also they cut contact with not just me but other friends that didn’t go to their sixth form. And I really miss them. My best mate went to this other sixth form with her boyfriend who btw is a very toxic person and he never deserved her. But I feel like I’ve lost my best friend as she is always in this other group now which I was also in for the whole of summer and she hardly responds to my messages and everytime I see her in person she’ll say hi but then run off with some male friends. And I don’t understand why.

At the sixth form I’m at I’m stuck with friends who take their lives v seriously and care v much abt what other people think - so basically we’ve not had a laugh and it’s been boring. all the while my other friends in a diff sixth form are always posting abt all this fun they’re having. I cant change to their sixth form as the teaching isn’t meant to be that good and although I really miss the friendships I had in Y11, I can’t sacrifice my education for socialising.

im going to a party tmrw where everyone is going to be there but instead of being excited as u would for a party I’m just dreading it. I miss my friends sm but I also have this frustration built up about all of them (not abt how they left but of how they have all baiscally cut ties with girls who aren’t at their school and only message when they need smth) and I just want to give them all the cold shoulder but I also don’t want to lose friends over sm emotion.

also I already communicated to my best friend that we should both try and keep contact and that worked for two weeks and then when she got back with her bf she started ignoring me again.

I don’t care for many people. But I really care about her. And she doesnt know how much I care about her and I don’t think she cares for me the same. It’s just sad and idk how to feel as literally I have sm emotion towards her as when she’s sad I feel sad and all that stuff and I don’t feel like that with anyone else. But she’s been ignoring me ever since she made…I want to say more friends but it feels like new friends.

i lost a “best friend” two years ago and I didn’t realise how well and truly it f**** me up until I broke down crying (privately) whenever I thought I was abt to lose another friend. For two years nothing like losing another friend has happend up until now. Which is probably why I’m going straight into wanting to give her the cold shoulder to avoid sm hurt if she does cut me off (not that ignoring her before tht would make it hurt less) but oh dear this is a rant and a half isn’t it haha…(doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop as whoah is this therapeutic)

I just have a lot of emotions going on rn and I’m rlly missing my friend but also f them yk as u don’t start ignoring ur supposed mates as soon as you meet more people like what??? I’ve made some friends as well (ok maybe only one friend) but that doesn’t mean I replace anybody??

For now I’m thinking of sticking to the tactic of giving them cold shoulder first before they can give it to me but also what do I do abt this party as it’s eating me up seeing them and I might get drunk and it’s not good to get drunk when there’s a lot of thoughts in ur head soooooooooooo yeah.

rant over 😀