Not being a priority
A few days ago I asked him if he’d want to spend some time with me, he said “If my friends aren’t planning anything, then I’m free”. I felt hurt, because he was willing to choose a night out with his friends over me. I know friends are important, and I’m highly supportive when it comes to spending time with your friends while also being in a relationship, the problem is that he goes out with his friends to drink a few times a week, so it’s actually more like an usual thing... I calmly told him that I don’t want to be his second choice, but he said that he doesn’t want to make a promise that he can’t keep ( e.g. meeting up with me) Now the question is, next time when he wants to hang out, should I calmly deny and tell him that what he did hurt me, or should I just approach the same attitude as he did when I asked him to spend some time with me? I don’t want to be immature, I’m trying to grow as a person a be more clear at communicating my feelings, but my friends keep telling me that I should do him as dirty as he did me
Two wrongs don't make a right...but you should definitely have a conversation about his priorities in terms of your relationship.
I had a very similar issue with my boyfriend. In the beginning of dating, he would chose his family, golf, video games, and friends over me. There were a few things overtime that I found worked: 1. Tell him that you love spending time with him and that you’d like Him to pencil you in more. 2. Men suck at scheduling things. So, be a planner and ask hum ahead of time if he can do something next Saturday so that you have a clear plan in place. If he forgets or doesn’t follow through, that’s an issue. 3. Clarify on the phrase “hanging out”. Create a plan— hey, let’s go catch a movie. Or hey, let’s stay in and make our own pizzas. Have an agenda in place with things for you to do rather than unstructured time. These are just a few suggestions. He should be making you a priority. If he continues to disregard time with you, then it may be time to re-evaluate and sit him down.