Not getting anything back
Me (17,F) and my parter(16, Nb) have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years. It started out great, for over an year I was mostly happy in my relationship. But for the past months I feel like I'm only giving and not receiving anything back. I pay for almost everything. When we meet I usually go there and pay for the train tickets. I pay for the movie tickets and sometimes all the food we buy. I get why that is, their family is quite poor and I do have some money I've worked for. But they do get some money and just spend it on games, sometimes they buy small things like food for both of us though.
That's not the biggest thing though. In those over 2 years we haven't kissed for longer than 5 seconds. As someone who craves that kind of stuff due to being hypersexual it hurts. We have no intimate contact or tension that I really like. I've tried talking about it, they always just say they'll think abt it and I never hear about it again. I even proposed an idea that could work, more of an open relationship. But they said they'd probably get jealous and I understand that. Last time I saw them they might be an asexual, or that they want no sexual contact, just do stuff by themselves.
Talking to them is hard, they have a lot of mental illnesses. When I accidentally do something they don't like they just shut down instead of talking and explaining. I can't understand since I don't think the same way.
I feel like a complete (redacted) but I feel like I'm losing feelings. If I had known I would have zero sexual contact or it would be this impossible to talk with them I wouldn't have started dating them. I just keep telling myself that they're still young and things can chance. I just feel like I'm "wasting" my youth. I wanna do stuff that people my age do, do the dirty and have fun nights out with them also included.
Don't get me wrong though, I do still like them, if not still love. I have many good memories with them and want to keep making more. It's just that I feel like I'm getting nothing back.
Hello Syaryu.
It does sound like you're the only one putting into the effort to make the relationship work and that doesn't seem fair on you. I understand that money isn't easily available for them, but a compromise can be made especially if they are truly into you like they say. It can be hard trying to communicate with someone that has a mental illness and it requires patience. If you are willing to, you can maybe try to bring up how you're feeling in the relationship slowly and not try to overload him with everything if he can't handle it all at once. Is that a possibility?
