Not happy and need advice

Okay, so my wife have been together for about eleven years. From the start, it was rocky. I should have known better, but I was going through a very bad bout with depression after my father died. Now I'm not saying that I have been perfect through it all, but I can look myself in the mirror and say that I tried my best.

I have been the victim of mental, emotional and physical abuse. Often times, after each instance, I felt as though I could break down and cry. Because of this, I am emotionally guarded from my wife, friends and family. Whenever I am around them, I put up a facade and hope that they don't see what I have tried to keep hidden.

I don't want sex with my wife anymore. I just got burnt out on getting put down and called names and pretty much just being emasculated, all for her to turn around and want her sexual needs met. Many times I have told her to use her hand or vibrator. If I could let my wife have sex with other men just so it would satisfy her sexual needs, I would.

Throughout our time together, I have done my best to provide for her and our children. I worked ten yearz on third shift with hardly any sleep. I watched her quit jobs left and right for no reason. I have had to come between her and my family many times-which my family had reason to complain, more often than not. She tried selling me out to an ex-con that threatened me personally. In the back of my mind, I still think that she was hoping he either beat the hell out of me, or murder me.