Not happy and need advice pt 2

And to make matters worse, our boys are autistic. Anyone that knows autism, knows that it is not easy to deal with. Long story short: I am burnt out, nothing is left in the well. My depression gets worse everyday and I battle with suicidal thoughts. Not long ago, my wife asked me why I am the way that I am, why I don't talk to her.

I said, "you have never respected me or listened to me. And, at times, you have flaunted it in front of my face! I have spent year after year trying to figure out what it was that I did to make you hate me so much!"

I start to cry and I pull it back. I look at my life. I have a job that I ain't even made the ten dollar an hour mark yet, my boys can't I love you, daddy, let alone their own names, and I feel like I have wasted my time on the wrong woman. I walk around in miserable discouragement. I call myself and idiot comstantly throughout the day.

I feel like my life has been a waste.