Not sure what to do...

Hey there! @affectionateClementine8688, thank you for sharing this difficult time in your life. It takes bravery and strength to ask for help when you need it. Youre doing great already!

Now, please understand that I am not a licensed professional and that anything I say here is meant to be only supportive and thought-provoking. Please do not take my interpretations as direct advice.

You love this man and he clearly loves you. Bottom line, thats what I want you to know. 10 years is no short amount of time. That is why, I imagine, this is so difficult for you. So lets focus on what youre feeling right now. Sound fair?

Correct me if Im wrong, but you seem to be feeling lonely, neglected, and like theres a large piece of your greater family missing from your life. I can speak from experience on this issue, having been raised in the military life.

What youre feeling is normal. Do you watch Rick and Morty? In one episode, Rick tells another character callously that Love = Familiarity/Time.

If that is to be believed, the more time we spend away from critical people in our lives, the more we lose touch with our feelings about them. This opens the door for nasty bouts of longing to restore our precious feelings to their original state. This feeling is expressed as missing someone. Or being homesick. And it is entirely natural. Especially, when you have children of your own that you wish could know these amazing people that youre missing.

What this means in relation to your situation with your husband, is that you have to decide how important this issue is to you. Is this homesickness something that can be solved with routine visits home? Or is it something more? Something predicated on the emotional neglect you seem to be feeling in your marriage?

Your husband is a gamer. I also have experience in this because Ive been gaming since I was five years old (Im now in my late twenties). It has also been a big factor in my relationships as well.

Firstly, Id like you to know that just because he games often does not mean that he loves you any less or wants to escape His responsibilities, though I have limited information about your relationship. At the very least, we mustnt assume that.

But if it is affecting your time spent together regularly, and you have had discussions about this to no avail, it may be time to speak with him again. Let him know in a purely non-judgemental or accusatory fashion, that you would really appreciate him reducing the amount of time spent on the games and instead spend it on activities that you can enjoy as a family. It is important to do your best to try and understand his feelings about gaming as well, because as you know, relationships are about mutual understanding and compassion.

If, however, you dont feel as if you can achieve a mutually satisfying compromise, you can always reach out to a relationship counselor. I can sympathize with your frustrations. It must be really difficult to reach out to him and be met with resistance about your concerns. And involving a counselor seems to have some negative connotation that a marriage is on the outs. But quite the contrary, those who dont seek help cannot receive it. Getting ahead of minor issues before they become resentments is always the best course of action in my personal opinion.

Ultimately, marriage is about compromises and mutual respect. You are entitled to that, just as he is. You could benefit greatly from deep personal reflection on these particular issues. Are they rooted in genuine feelings of remorse for moving away? Are they products of limited social groups in your new area? Is it an emotional response to the neglect that youre feeling? Could any of these issues be solved with a compromise of some sort? Would a counselor provide more insight into the dynamics of your relationship?

I hope at least some of this can ease your mind or give you something to think about. The forums here are always available to support you in trying times. I wish you the best!