Old vs. New

This is just for me, no comments please.

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The person I knew before was so much kinder to me. He was polite and less selfish. He would hate what’s happening right now, and he would have chose me. He wouldn’t have cowered. He would have asked about my days, how I really am, and listen more to me. I miss that person.

This person has echoes of you, but he’s oblivious and scared. This person is more selfish, unaware of his surroundings. Unaware of who he’s hurting. Completely engulfed in only his life.

I still remember everything. I had so many dreams. I wished that you’d get help.

It takes great lengths for me to get you to understand me. And apparently, you want to speak to me as if I’m very special, but you can’t tell me how you feel, out of respect for your partner. Even though you both want a poly relationship. Why is your life so messed up?

I am confused about what you think happiness is.

Sometimes I wonder why I am talking to you. Other times I catch a glimpse of who you were and I remember what we could have.

I’ve given you a couple of options. Friendship or nothing. Because you refuse to acknowledge your true feelings. You keep hinting sexually and then you “forget” and act like I’m nuts for wanting boundaries.

I deserve better. Someone who actually can admit their feelings for me. Why are you my soulmate? Why?

My life has been one huge struggle. When is it my turn to get some happiness? Why is God doing this to me? Why would He give me someone who needs so much help, and can’t even see his own wants?

If I’m forced to leave, that’s when he’s really going to break down. That’s when he’s truly going to see it. How much he’s lost. How much he’s denied.

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This is just for me, no comments please.

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