Paranoid
About 5 yrs back, I had trust issues with my husband. He was going on dates with his female colleague. I discovered it when I noticed him texting late at night while I was I bed so I checked his phone and receipts. We were almost on the verge of divorce but we got through it when he decided to quit the job and stop all contact with the woman.
Recently he has been assigned for a task alone with one of his female subordinate. The long hours they spend together alone made me upset and I get paranoid imagining things. When I looked at his messages, they looked pretty Innocent. When he knew I was upset, he started to delete his messages for fear of me misunderstanding and hence triggering another sleepless crazy night of fighting.
Deep down I know there is really nothing this time but I could not control myself to overthink things and getting paranoid that he had reverted to his old ways. Every time he looks at his messages I would imagine he is communicating with her, though it is just official work messages from others.
Maybe it is a self esteem issue. The girls around him are much younger and slimmer. I am older and fatter after 2 kids. I think he may not be as attracted to me as before. All this adds to me getting all paranoid.
What can I do I overcome this suspicious mind. I really treasure my relationship and I do want this relationship to last.
@Shinchan88
It was a really bad mistake on his part to date other woman behind your back while already married to you but since he decided to quit the job and stop all contacts, that to me is pretty good proof of sincerity to me, no?
It's absolutely normal to feel paranoid if he spend time alone with another woman even if it's just a job because the trust has been broken before. The responsibility is on him now how to reassure you're the only one for him. Instead of deleting the messages, he should've just kept it and explain to his best that he has nothing to hide this time. But so far from your post I haven't sense anything else to support the suspicion of his infidelity
You mentioned self-esteem issue caused by your body might be the trigger. Are you a housewife? Do you think you can do something about your body while juggling your job?
@Evokun
Thank you for readinng and your comments. I have been working out. Running 10km once a week and I try to squeeze in a 6km mid week. Am slowly seeing some results but it's stubborn fats from post pregnancy days....
I am starting mediation. Hopefully it gives me strength to trust again and believe in myself.
@Shinchan88
Do take it easy. Not everyone can lose fat no matter how much they exercise, just like my mum. It's more important to live a healthy life.
I would recommend you seeing marriage councellor or something regarding your husband.