Part of me.

Please don’t comment. This isn’t for anyone but me. It’s just me talking to myself.

—

Part of me is really excited that my partner has unblocked me, because that probably means he’s planning on talking to me again. Saying something. Another part of me says, I shouldn’t get my hopes up. But the truth is, my hopes have been crushed, and I still have hope, even after that, and that’s a miracle. So I’m feeling however I want to feel. I’m not holding back anymore. I don’t care if it means I get hurt, because I’ve already been hurt. So what’s the point of holding back if I’m going to get hurt regardless?

So I’ve decided to just feel. I texted him that I miss him very much today. I told him I love him. I told him he owes me a talk. That’s all I have to say unless we talk over the phone.

I know that we are long distance, but promises were made. It’s him or no one for me. He knows that. I loved him before I even understood what love was. We’ve known each other for so long, forever it seems, even though it’s really just been a year. I know he loves me. That’s not a question.

I guess the question is whether or not his self work is done. Whether or not karma has played all its cards.

There’s nobody else for me.

Please don’t comment. This isn’t for anyone but me. It’s just me talking to myself.