Please help.. I don’t know what to do

Well.. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years now. We’ve had some trouble because I always felt like he didn’t care enough about me : no gifts (even for my birthdays or Valentine’s Day), rarely ever going out etc. Things were fine at first, we used to travel together and be together all the time. He was still very present, but I still felt like something was wrong. I recently found out he started a relationship with his ex back in November. Even took her to his family and things like that. I broke down and broke up with him. He came back begging and crying, swearing he left her and loves me. She later contacted me to tell me they even were trying to have a baby , and that he told her he broke up with me. I blocked him everywhere for a week. Then he managed to contact me and cried his eyes and heart out to me, swearing he loves me and regrets everything, that he did it because we were growing so distant, that he thought I was leaving him. Anyways right now he still insists he loves me and wants to be with me and broke up with her. But I value myself so much I don’t know If I can ever go past this and forgive him. I even started looking at a law school abroad, and I really think i want to go, but I don’t know if I’m just running away from the situation. He is begging me not to go, saying he’d be lost without me. I don’t know what to do because I am so stupidly in love with this idiot . I’m sorry for any errors, English is not my first language (French is).