Pro Player, Covid, Army and Depression

Hello all, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I need all the help I can get. I am a professional volleyball player who was in Germany when Covid happened. I had to come back to the United States but my family and I were fighting and I could not go to their house. I do not have any friends in my city due to the fact I was so focused in my sport. I was scrolling through tinder and met a guy named Reggie who was more than caring and kind enough to take me into his house as he has an extra room. I stayed with him a whole year. In the beginning we were strangers and feelings just started to develop. In the meantime he was in the army and was quite stressed with his job as a nurse in the hospital at the same time. He was on the verge of getting out and finally made the move. Once he got out of the Army There was a period of time resources were calling him to speak about his mental health. I thought this was very important for him to do but he did not think so and thought he was fine. Turns out later on in the year as we got a little more serious in our relationship out of nowhere he says how he doesn’t want us to have a title and that we were moving too fast. he wanted us to take a pause or a brief break so he can figure out what he wants. We took a break and it turns out we are still in the same place. Sometimes we have heated discussions on whether I should be in his house anymore. He told me a few times that I shouldn’t be in his house anymore so I took action and started searching for apartments in my area. Later on he tells me he doesn’t want me to leave. He has been contradicting himself and it’s so confusing. He admitted that he has abandonment issues I am figuring this is from his childhood trauma. His father was never there for him and his mother not so much either. His grandmother is the one who raised him and sometimes she can be unpleasant. After the break I couldn’t help myself but to observe his behavior a little more. He kind of showed signs of depression but I did not want to assume anything. Last night felt like the last straw. I cleaned the house and tried to make solutions for chores around the house to make our dynamic a little better in the house. It felt like I was grasping at straws but I didn’t know how else to make him happy. OK. You never know what you’re going to get depending on his day. Even when I ask about his day and how it went he always says it was good it was fine or if it doesn’t go good then he doesn’t go into great detail on what happened. He asked me to sleep with him in his bed because lately we’ve been sleeping in separate rooms after the break. At first I was going to say no but for some reason something in my heart made me say yes. I went to his room and we had no sexual relations at all. He gave me a brief hug and apologized for touching me. It felt weird because it did not feel like him and I just cried without him knowing. This morning he calls me from work and lets me know that he called the suicide hotline and does not feel like himself. Tomorrow he has his first therapy session and will be attending therapy for now on. I am happy to hear he is going to therapy sessions although my heart sank hearing him say that he called the suicide hotline. It makes me think I am doing something wrong even though I am trying my hardest or sometimes giving breaks so he can think and not trying at all. I feel very powerless and don’t know what to do. I have an apartment ready to move in on Monday, I put in the deposit already but I can get out of it as long as I notify the apartment complex by Saturday. (Sunday they are closed). Should I stay at his house and support him even when it’s really tough or do I leave to my apartment and give us space and I visit him as friends? I am conflicted because if I stay then I risk my own self by awkwardly being in the house and not knowing how his day will be and the boundaries he seeks. On the other hand if I leave then I don’t want him to feel that I am abandoning him as he admitted that he has abandonment issues. Or for him to see me as weak and not a suitable partner for him because I didn’t stick around through the tough times. I truly do not know what to do as mental health is a very serious thing and it’s much bigger than me or you or anyone else in this world. The only person that can help him is himself at the end of the day. I just don’t know how to support him. I even asked how I can support him specifically but he won’t give me specifics he just says “just support me.” I’m not sure what he experienced in the military and the transition. To civilian life and how any of that feels but I do want to be a good partner and make the right decision. If anyone has any advice on what I should do or maybe a little insight on what he’s thinking that would be so awesome I would greatly appreciate it. I have never dealt with this before. On top of that since he has abandonment issues it scares me for him because I am a professional volleyball player and I will be going to a different country to play for them and don’t want to hurt him. I love him more than anything and I know he loves me back but his well being must come first.