Reconnecting and finding happiness

I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 15. First love and only relationship. Now 18years later and a 7year old. Lots of broken trust and cheating. Occasional separations. Communication issues. Always an endless cycle never making progress on any issues. I struggle with letting go and not taking things personal. Insecure and low self esteem. Never feeling enough. Constantly comparing myself. Completely dependent. And I struggle with addiction.

I just want to reconnect with him. Real intimacy. Rebuild trust and let the past hurts go. I just want us happy again. Is it even possible to move past the anger and resentment to build trust again.