Relationship issues
Okay well here goes. I have been with my fiance since July of 2018. I have had issues with being too clingy and jealous. I have had relationships without this, but in this 1 I am obsessive and about the stupidest things. I follow him around like a lost puppy most of the time he is home.
My most recent relationship was a mess... He was with someone but wanted to join another in the relationship... He destroyed me emotionally because he told me they were done so we could explore a relationship and I don't believe it ever was. I eventually ended it.
The other significant relationship was with my ex husband whom I was with off and on for 12 years. He was extremely abusive both emotionally and physically. We have been divorced for almost 3 years.
My dad was also very controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive.
I haven't been around a healthy relationship, but want to learn to fully trust my partner... Any tips or advice would be seriously appreciated. I don't want to lose him, I know he is meant for me and our kids (my boys call him dad and his son calls me mom).
@Jealousmonkey hello monkey! i am glad you decided to come here today. i am sorry to hear about your past experiences, it seems like you have not experienced the bright side of relationships at all so far *hugs*. that can be emotionally draining and difficult to deal with.
- i am so glad that you have found someone you would like to trust. Learning how to trust after being in abusive relationships can be really hard - does your partner know about your past?
@AveryLove Yes, he does know about my past.
@Jealousmonkey how did he react? does he understand why it is hard for you to trust?
@AveryLove he just feels like I should trust him because he's never done anything to make it so that I shouldn't trust him.
@Jealousmonkey mhmm... i understand what he means but i believe its not that easy to just "trust" him to you? 
i understand that he wants you to trust him but if you need time, you deserve time, right?
@AveryLove Yes, at this point we have been together a year and a half. However I just found out that I am pregnant and I think that is going to help me trust him more. At least I hope.
@Jealousmonkey oh i wish you the best with the pregnancy!! congratulations dear
@Jealousmonkey
Congratulations for your beautiful baby! Wishing you and your little one good health, happiness, and a lifetime filled with love and joy. May this precious time bring you countless wonderful memories. Enjoy every moment of this incredible journey!
Have you tried talking to him about it
@Jealousmonkey
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and it’s really brave of you to open up about your struggles with jealousy and clinginess. It’s understandable that past experiences with unhealthy relationships can influence how you feel and behave in your current one.
Firstly, recognizing these patterns is a huge step toward change. Building trust can take time, especially when past relationships have been difficult. Here are a few tips that might help:
Open Communication: Have honest conversations with your fiancé about your feelings. Let him know your fears and insecurities without making accusations. This can help build mutual understanding and trust.
Self-Care: Take time for yourself to engage in activities you enjoy. This can help you feel more secure and less dependent on your partner for emotional support.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for yourself and respect your partner’s space. This can help reduce feelings of clinginess.
Positive Affirmations: Remind yourself of your worth and the positive aspects of your relationship. Trust that your fiancé is with you because he loves and values you.
Remember, it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Healing from past traumas and building trust is a process, but you’re on the right path. I hope you find the support you need here, and I wish you all the best in your journey.🤗
