Relationship tension
Hi, greatly needing some advice on this. My bf and I have been together for about 2.5 years now. We have had our ups and downs but recently I have found him focusing on the tv and his phone more than anything else. He usually is not interested in making plans with me in case something comes up with his friends last minute that he may want to do. Another thing is that I do not feel as if he understands my financial situation. He will want to go out drinking at least once a weekend (which usually costs a good amount) so I am unable to do this every weekend. I am on a budget to pay off bills and just need someone to support me in that. He said some hurtful things to me about 4 days ago and I have not talked to him since. He told me that he tells me he loves me just to keep me happy and is not interested in when I talk to him about my work. I don't know what to do anymore as I feel disrespected and unsupported, unfortunately. I am very attached to him so it's difficult to make changes.
@Goodtown847
Hey. Being attached can always make it difficult for us to do what may be necessary at times. Necessary things like cutting off contact and leaving people who don't do us any good.
I can understand it's never easy to love someone and feel they don't love us anymore or that they are just indifferent. It's never easy to see love be lost and absent. I get it must be hurting.
The most important thing in a relationship is communication. Communication about what you want and like and to ask what your partner wants and likes. Without communication, the only thing there is is mind reading.
You can say this to him "Hi. I feel we have been going through a difficult time. I feel you don't understand my concerns anymore when it comes to finances and listening to me. These things make me feel that you don't love me, naturally, as I feel you are being indifferent and cold. I can understand if you are going through some issues which render you helpless to do anything for me. If you have any reasons to share, you can, we can discuss this together and find out how to go about these things well. Because I can't have this continue as this is not the kind of future j have imagined for myself. I deserve to be loved and listened to."
@Rivelino2
I want to add this. Life is quite simple actually. That's what makes it difficult, because simple things can always be the hardest to do.
So. Simply, when a relationship doesn't go well. These are the only options. Either you change, your partner changes, or you accept how things are right now and cope.
Now that's simple. But going into each of these options can get complicated as to how to execute them.