Sad

How do I even begin? I am decimated by the weight of this sadness. I toggle back and forth between whose fault this was. I know many of my actions brought you to this point, but its rarely all one persons fault. I couldve been so much more grateful that I had an amazing, wonderful, and supportive husband. I could have worked not to be so damn hard on you. You could have been more vocal when you had issues with me, and imparted the severity of how you felt.

But thats all in the past now. And no matter how badly I want to, I cannot go back and change it.

If I could have anything right now, it would be for you to change your perspective, and FORGIVE me for the way I treated you. For my blatant disregard of your feelings. For foolishly believing that I could treat you any way and you would still love me. For you to give us another chance, and keep giving us chances until you got back that feeling of love you used to have for me.

But last night you made your wishes clear, and soon all the love and fun and this great life weve built together will go away.

Im not sure how I will do it, but Im going to keep an open mind and attempt to co-parent with you while living under the same roof, yet not be your wife. I hope youll understand how incredibly difficult this all is for me, and that I cannot promise how long Ill be able to do it.

I allowed myself today to stay in bed and do nothing because I was still reeling. Ill pick myself up tomorrow. Ill muster all my energy to get out of bed and on with my life.

Please be absolutely certain of this decision youre making.