Sexual desire
I'm female, 25yo, and I've had bad sexual experiences in the past, but I didn't think they really affected my relationship. But my boyfriend brought it up to me tonight that, I hardly do anything sexual. He has to ask me for sex, which in turn makes him feel like I'm not attracted to him. So he gets depressed and upset. I don't know what to do.
@SBakerSimon90. Thank you for sharing. Sorry to hear about bad previous experiences. J dont know how bad or what happened. Key in any relationship is open communication. Do you feel you can talk to toot boyfriend openly about the past and how it impacted you? Will he be receptive? Maybe you both together can figure out a solution so to speak. My other point/question - do you feel chemistry for him? Are you attracted to your boyfriend? I dont know the situation but its a possibility that maybe chemistry is not there. These are just my guesses based on limited information. Bottom line - communicate with your boyfriend openly.
@brightPlace8462 we communicate openly 90% of the time
@SBakerSimon90
I think some percentage of ppl have the similar feelings. It is a normal question. if you ever planned to marry this guy, it would be good to solve this question before doing that.
don't feel bad at all, your brave to try to address it.
the common advice would be to talk to the guy about it, but that is really hard to do and in my humble opinion will never get to the topics that would actually make a difference.
There are some interesting books on the topic. I know reading about this sort of stuff can feel silly. But sometimes if no one ever teaches the guy, how should he ever know what to do. It is always my go to txt for similar issue, No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Robert Glover. This one is targeted to the guy, and things he can do to improve your attraction to him. They work (I am sure of it) but getting the guy to read and do is key.. But as he is asking you for ideas apparently, and then you ask in the forum. That sounds like your both willing to look for solutions.
It is an important thing to solve and not to sweep under the rug.
Your mileage might vary with this idea so think about before doing it.
Good Luck.
@metalwater thanks! We are wanting to get married, but we both need to work on ourselves.
We've talked about issues with each other and we've grown thanks to it. But this is one issue we haven't been able to solve.
I'll try your book idea!
