Stuck in love limbo

I met this wonderful person two years ago, N. They're sweet and deep and funny and I feel unbeatable when I'm with them. We flirted and talked and fooled around a bit for about a month, before they moved away. I knew they were going to move, but I still fell in love with them. Hard. I never told them.

Now it's been over two years since I've seen N in person. We even stopped talking for a few months, when they hit a really rough patch. They have a boyfriend now, and said I'm like a sister to them. And I'm so happy to be talking with them and glad that they're doing better and still care about me.

But it still hurts. I drink to forget them, but just find myself missing them more. I honestly don't think I want to stop loving them. I don't want to lose those memories, those feelings. I just want them back, in my arms.