Super tired of walking on eggshells

Sometimes, like this weekend, will be AMAZING. But now the blissful weekend is over, not it starts again. My workplace started this thing where lunch hours arre flipped every other week so it doesn't seem so monotonous just to switch things up... well he don't like that and sure as hell let me know with all the sighing, dirty looks and blantantly telling me to find a new job. (Mr. I don't work anyways)

Even though I have nothing to hide at all, I'm afraid when he picks up my phone he's going to find something he "won't like" ie, why did I call my mom on my work break, why am I texting to much (I only have his family and mine thats it, no friends)... it gives me so much anxiety. When I'm at work, I constantly feel like he's behind me and I turn around to make sure he's not there. Work is my safe space and I hate that I feel like that here.

I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I feel like I'm completely done and then other times... like this weekend, I feel like I'm just being stupid. i've left before and it was really, really, really hard and I ended up taking him back. I don't know what to do anymore... I guess it sounds awful, but behind his back I actually applied to University. I told myself if I got accepted than I would leave.

but what if I dont.