Those things still hurt

Sometimes I think about the past and usually I don't let it effect me. But it hurts and I should consider talking about it.

I loved my ex a lot, my ex was always very loving, but I struggled showing feelings. He felt unloved.

And after 2 years of relationship..He cheated on me, but not just that, he played w my feelings, he knew I loved him too much and tried to fix everything. But he treated me like shit. I was at his place and he texted her hearts infront of me, told me she was perfect, proceeded to text many other women while always saying that he's uncertain if he still loves me, but I should keep being around. After 4 months of this torture, I finally left and he came clean, tried to fix everything between us, but I cannot forget how much he hurt me. I'm struggling forgiving him.