Tips for getting over someone

I was married for almost 6 years. After getting married, communication started getting ba . He didnt like talking to me as much about what he felt. More time passed and we because less intimate. I tried to do things to spice things up or to get him to communicate a bit. I asked other for advice, but the more i tried he pulled away. At almost 3 years together, 2 married, he cheated on me. It broke me, i got severely depressed and turned to drinking and tried to harm myself. I tried to be with him that following year. He didnt really own up to his mistake or comfort m . When i would be upset hed tell me he couldnt do it and threatened to leave. Last year in march i decided to take a break, so he could decide what he wanted. During this break he still slept in our bed and lived here. Wasnt a good decision, didnt give us time apart. My husband would say hed wait for me and loved me and i was his soulmate. Fast forward to last month. He'd been talking to girls all the while telling me he wanted to work things out and loved me. Im assuming because at this point he just wanted a place to live so he lied to me. Needless to say that after this Saturday i told him to move out and he said he wants to go through with the divorce papers and that he was happier when i wasnt there. I just need help moving on. Im hurt and everyday is a struggle. I cry when i wake up and all day and i just dont feel ok. Even though he wasnt great i just cant stop wanting to be with him.