Tired.

It's been almost 8 years but why do I feel like I love him more than he loves me. Is it wrong? Or is it just my pride? Is it wrong for me to ask for things that he should be doing as a boyfriend? Or is it just me putting an ideal man in my head and expecting him to be like that? I always find myself getting insecured of other relationship where they are sweet and understanding of each other.

Is it wrong to think that he should never let me sleep knowing that we fought?

Is it wrong to think he doesn't care when his collegue made a story about me that we both know that is not true but he just sleeps off and says he don't want to make things bigger and he's stressed about me and we should just talk tomorrow.

For all of his shortcomings, instead of making it up to me, he'll find anything to counter my argument. We are on LDR right now. I messaged him and he just seenzoned me. I demanded that next time he can just reply even a one liner. Then he starts saying that I can't make adjustments to our LRD situation right now. I just can't see any effort. For us to get together, it is always me who'll go to him. I have to fly to Singapore so we can celebrate events and important things.

I'm in a situation right now where I am tired of even thinking and asking these questions to my head.

I mean I don't know if I am being petty or immature about these little things. Yeah, I know these are nothing or petty to some people but my point is these are simple yes but why can't he do it?