To run or to fight ?
Before I get to the main issue for why I am writing here let me just clarify a few things. I suffer from suffer from long term depression, and aniexty , I am a child of abuse, sexual abuse and had a long term relationship with my high school sweetheart of 7+ years that ended badly when I came to find out he had cheated on me twice at the time when I had found out. So insuffer from major trust issues at the age of 25.
I am involved with a guy (let's call him joe) and we aren't an item (yet)
Now joe is a very dominate, angry, controlling, jealous, insecure, and doubtful person. He has he's demons and I have mines. My problem with him since day one is he can say beyond hurtful things when we fight ( and boy do we fight alot)
Ex.- "your going to end up alone and date someohe who's gonna cheat on you again." Joe does not and willnot tolerate me talking to any guys, being friends with a guy, or even making comments about a guy. So he's always assuming and pointing fingers when I tell him anything.
My issues is I run when we fight. I don't trust him cause he time and time again hurts me. I love him but st the same time he's evil to me. I feel trapped between being happy and with someone who makes me happy but hurts me. I hate how controllive he is. I want to feel like I'm trusted and not paranoid on what he's going to say or think. The fighting is unbearable but is he worth the fighting ?
@prototype I'm about to straight up honest and open to you... RUN! Get the hell out of there as FAST as you can! I was going through the EXACT same thing with my still current boyfriend. He was so rude, calling me names, making me flinch, every bad thing in the book. Now I have no clue why I was attracted to him SO much. I got pregnant.. So I felt like I HAD to be with him then.. It only got worse.. During my whole pregnancy I was beaten, spit on, my unborn baby was always being denied(still sometimes), I was being degraded little by little.. I don't see my family or friends anymore.. The only people I am allowed to talk to is his family and that's IT. Nobody else, not in the store or anywhere else... I can't even have a job!! Talk about controlling.. I get sexually abused that triggers things.. Guess what else? I cannot under any circumstances talk about my past at all.. I have PTSD and Bipolar 1, I can't talk about it to him. I can't cry in front of him. But I shut off all of my emotions well not to my son but to everyone else I have no emotions, I don't laugh like I used to, I don't cry at all, I barely speak to anyone, I don't get out of the house. There was about 3 times throughout my pregnancy I had to go to the hospital to make sure my son was still alive, he has pushed me into the arm of a couch, kicked me in my stomach when I was 6 months pregnant and held my arms behind my back and shove me on the ground.. I'm lucky to be raising a child right now... My advice to you is get the fuck away from that guy and don't look back!!!! It might be hard but read over what I went through. When I read your post I said to myself OH MY GOD!! I have to tell her about me! If I can save at least 1 girl what I went through it will make my life so much better!! Please don't get involved with him... Run! It is NOT worth the fight.. Give it up. I am sorry if this wasn't the answer you were looking for but you know something.. You have a choice don't ruin your life! I'm 19 and my life is ruined with the choice I made to be with this monster. Please don't make the mistake I made... Have your freedom and life for you!! lots of love sweetie<3 I'm here for you though
