Upset

This is just for me, no comments please.

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I don’t feel like myself. I feel uncomfortable lately. I can’t explain this feeling or how it’s triggered. It just seems like I am judged so much. Mostly by myself. And my standards are so high that I get stressed.

I feel like I’m only comfortable when I’m playing video games or sleeping or working. One of my parents has been talking nonstop about the house they just bought and how they’re fixing it up. It’s a second house. Idk why they even bought it. I think it’s really dumb. All they want to do with it is store their stuff. So like why does it have to be perfect? One of my parents keeps asking my opinions on wall colors. I’m like literally who cares?? No one will live there so just paint them white. It’s supposed to also be a guest area or something but no one visits lmao unless it’s my cousins. I’m just saying that this really gets to me. I do understand that they didn’t want bad neighbors. I get that. But I don’t want to be a part of this process. I’ve already put in a lot of my own time to helping. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t value my time.

Im over this whole thing. And then I keep having really bad customer service experiences. I made a doctors appointment last week for tomorrow. Or I guess, later today. And the woman on the phone was so rude to me. I had like 3 bad interactions with store customer service, all this week. It’s just tiring. On top of that, I’m getting my birth control shot tomorrow, and part of me doesn’t even know why I’m getting it. I wanted to go for it because it’s a timely thing and I guess it matters how long you wait or something until getting it. But the guy who I was going to be with last time I got this shot (3 ish months ago) bailed on me for sh** reasons. And now he’s interested again but I don’t even know if anything will happen. So I guess better safe than sorry. But I just don’t understand. I don’t know what I am to him. I don’t know why I keep entertaining this. And I’m uncomfortable.

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this is just for me, no comments please.

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