Wanting More While Having It All
I am 21 and married. I also have a almost 1 year old son. I love my husband he is my best friend, he is a amazing father, he is a great provider, and he will support me in anything I want to do. For the past two years( and it continues to get worse) I cant help but feeling like I want more. I dont want to replace my him that is the last thing I want I dont want to lose him. I want a future with him. I try to shake it and I do for a few weeks then Im right back to wanting something else. Im struggling with my identity some all I know is I want me and my husband and our perfect life, but here I am not fully happy and wanting more even though I have it all.
@exuberantPrune1590
What sort of more? It might help to understand better if you could explain a bit about what seems missing or what changes you'd like to see.
@0m I guess to explor myself some which is wrong... I know we got married so young and I love him and all we
@exuberantPrune1590
You're being too hard on yourself! Have you mentioned any of this to your partner? If he feels the same maybe you could find a way to explore together. Even if he isn't interested, maybe he would understand and support you?
@0m he isnt open to it fully... he doesnt have a interest of being with anyone and he doesnt want me to be with anyone else but its ok if your with a woman that was his response
@exuberantPrune1590
People have asymmetric needs and relationships involve finding that balance for both partners. It sounds like you both have different needs at the current phase of life and presently the "balance" is being achieved by ignoring your needs.
@0m Ive never thought about it like that
@exuberantPrune1590
Maybe for some time you can think about your interests and wants :) Your response talked only of his interest and want. It takes time to sort things like this because people have their own way of doing relationships or maintaining "happiness" so looking at the other point of view needs time and patience on both sides.
@exuberantPrune1590
That is a great post/questions.
Sounds like you have a great situation and you want to keep it that way. Your man is lucky.
What you write is exactly the feelings that later can lead to some serious problems. You probably can feel that and it is why you ask..
There are generally two kinds (more than that, but in general) of guys. Great providers and great lovers/fighters. The first kind, like your husband and the second kind are the sexy ones that make girls go crazy with ideas... Can't help it... it is built into our human bodies. Some girls never take action on it and stay married until the end. Some do, and change husbands a few times, and so on.. Very rarely is a man good in both category.
If it was your husband asking.. could tell him exactly what to do. It is more tricky when it is the girl asking, and honestly it is the girl who knows it first. He will only notice in some years in the future or if there becomes a problem...
Read this link if you like. This is ideas about what could be done from girls side.
https://www.createapeacefulhome.com/marriage/let-husband-man/
If you don't like the church stuff in it, you can ignore that part as the concepts are independent of that. This is not a suggestion to be a slave or anything less than you are. It is a suggestion on how to help convert... your husband so that your happiness with him can be more complete.
Good Luck