What I’m Doing

This is just for me, no comments please.

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I finally got more answers. Although...my ex is lying to himself. I mean, at least he admitted he still loves me, but his mind is all over the place. The life he leads is very confusing.

I love him. I can’t help my feelings. He loves me but is committed to his girlfriend even though they are literally wanting to be in a polyamorous relationship. Make it make sense...

Basically all that’s really left is friendship, at this point. I set major boundaries and I’m hoping that we can just see where things go naturally. Very very small steps. I feel like everything went in reverse. And now we are just on the edge of a cliff, waiting for each other. But we’re on different cliffs, and we can’t see each other. I am all for a leap of faith. He just keeps messing up. Every time I start over and start to hear him and build up friendship with him, he does something stupid. It’s really sad. Then it’s like he forgets what he did and I’m left looking like a crazy person because my feelings are hurt and he doesn’t understand.

All I can do is wait and see if this cycle ends. And maybe we can just...be. Be whatever.

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This is just for me, no comments please.

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