anxiety

I'm having some relationship issues, which in turn are causing me a lot of stress, anxiousness and sleep problems. I guess this is the first time i really notice it. My boyfriend and I are having some issues, because he went on a trip with some friends I dislike and this have made me crumble in many ways. Is not like i distrust him, is just i start having this thoughts of never being good enough, of why is he having a good time if I'm here practically shattered, what I'm doing wrong in my life to feel this way, is this relationship really what I need. This issues are not new, like I've had this practically since the beginning, since he's my first love and my first serious relationship. It has turned bad, because he's helped me in really though times and in a way, I've become emotionally dependant on him. Last night we had a really bad fight and it's coming to a week with almost none sleep, turning all night, having bad thoughts, and I'm really desperate. I don't know how to help this get better.