it would

I dated my ex boyfriend for 2 1/2 years, through my senior year of highschool and stayed with him my first two years of college. Everyone told me not to go to college with a boyfriend but we were in a good place and I was so in love I couldnt see myself with anyone else. He was my first SERIOUS boyfriend and my first love. I take trust and loyalty very seriously, I pride on the fact that I am loyal. When I am with someone I give my all to that person I never even think about anyone else. Now that I am out of the relationship I realize how manipulative and toxic he was. I dropped all my guy friends because he was jelous, he told me what to wear, what to post on social media, he had all my log ins for my accounts, and made me feel bad for going out with my friends while I was at school. Distance was hard especially with when he had jelous issues. He WOUKD excuse me of cheating on him as a joke but always get mad and ask who Im with what im doing where Im going and if Im lying. After two years of this my mental health started to get bad, on top of that i was a full time student and working 30 hours a week at a trash job. He was no support or help with my sadness and made it sound like it was a burden to him. I finally broke up with him and I have never felt more free in my life. But now I am struggling with committing to someone else .. I am over him but cant shake the feeling of him. I gave my everything just to get nothing but pain back why would I d that again? I hate him for it.