workplace sadness :-(
i feel like i am being bullied at work by my coworkers. my workplace love interest and i recently broke things off after he had ignored me for weeks.
after being inseparable for months and moving onto briefly dating, he became cold and distant and would lash out at me for talking to him at work, when it was something we always did. in fact, at our high, he would invite me to sit with him and watxh him work so we could talk more. the past few weeks, i'd notice him speaking to other girls and turning around/getting quiet when i walked past. he also would always cancel oir plans oitside of work and flake, but still would insist he wanted to continue our relationship.
when i would bring this up, or get upset at his distance, he would blame me for not dealing with my s/a trauma well and being "unstable" as a result of it. he told me every tome i tried to have. atalk aboit it, i was showing red flags.
however, this week i'd had enough. i took a step back and gave him space. i thought i was doing right by him if he needed more space at work. i didnt initiate conversation and neither did he. until i texted him a couple nights ago telling him i was sorry if i came off mean but i needed the time wothout interaction for my mental health. we decided to break things off.
this is where it starts. he is a union worker and i am an admin, so there is a separation between our two jobs and i do not have many friends at our workplace. i have notice people ignoring me when i talk, and very blatantly staring at me while in large groups. today, i saw my ex in a group of girls and once i looked over they turned around and burst into laughter. my coworkers who i was once friends with wont talk to me.
i feel like i am being bullied. i've tried bringing it up with hr, and trying to switch areas, but i cant. they are short staff and this is a high demand area and they refuse to move me.
i feel outcast. i feel unlovable. ive been made to believe my s/a has made me unlaovable and now my workplace is hostile and i cant do anything about it. i just need someone to talk to so i can avoid doing something stupid. i hasnt felt this isolated since i was 16 years old.
@sarahsnapdragon I am incredibly sorry to hear this, if you’d like to chat with someone I am available 3-6 pm EST
I dated someone I worked with once and all I can say is… that’s a no no!! Try if you can to get out of it. My advice would be never poop where you eat. My coworker friend told me this once while I was dating our coworker and because he had changed so much because of me I disregarded the advice. We dated for maybe 3 years and it ended horribly. AND because of how hurt I was I also quit my job because I felt betrayed by him and I couldn’t stand to have to be in an office with him anymore. I remember when we started getting distant from eachother and I would get jealous or mad when he made plans without me or if he took on projects with other people and not me. Because he could choose to have me on a project or he could choose other people. So it hurt when he would choose others. I also felt betrayed by others in the company because even though our dating was secret those who knew also knew that I had changed my coworker to become a brighter and nicer person. So when things went down hill I expected a little more support from my coworkers who knew. And I got none. They basically looked at me like we told you so. So there are many more reasons why I quit but the breakup definitely played a factor. I wish I had never been gullible enough to start pooping where I ate. It pretty much means never do something that can negatively effect your income in anyway. That’s my advice. I hope it helps. And best of luck to you.