Am i the problem

I just had a fight with my friends earlier but I talked it all out and it’s all good now but why don’t I feel like it’s all has been solved. I talked with my friends about my feelings so many times before but never once did they change their actions to make me feel included or to feel better. I always feel like I don’t belong where I am now. I never feel like anyone cares or love me I never feel like anyone want to be friends with me or listen to me when I needed. they always create a new groups excluding me but they told me they see me as their best friends and they love me so much but I could never believe it. I also don’t really know how to express my feelings to other people and so most of them seem to think that I don’t care about them. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all because of me that I push people away am I the problem for everything that has happened? I don’t have anyone that I can call a best friend who knows me so well and treat me like someone who they really care about. I tried to put up with my feelings and care less about everything around me because it wouldn’t hurt me so much. But instead when I stop caring, people tell me I don’t care about them, but when I care so much I got hurt. What do i do