Have a crush on an online friend…
Hi! I have a big crush on an online friend I’ve known for two years now. I’m positive he’s not a creep (I have seen his face, my friends are his friends, he genuinely is a good person and in these two years hasn’t done anything remotely suspicious.) I know for a fact he likes me back because we confessed a week ago. But I didn’t realize how much the idea of dating makes me nervous. I had an anxiety attack after because I didn’t know what to do next. But I really like him! My emotions for him are so conflicted and as much as I’d love to date him I can’t bring myself to do it. I ended up telling him I wasn’t ready.
If anyone has any, I would love some pointers.
@CheezPuff
Hi! I believe the most important question here might be: why you are afraid of meeting someone in person?
Are you concerned about your looks, clothing or the way you speak? Or are you afraid of your nervousness (which might be quite normal when meeting someone new), or that your behaviour may be judged as "awkward" by someone? Or is it scary to lose control - the conversation going not to your preferable topics, or the moments of terrible silence becoming way too long?
I tend to be careful about online friends, because sometimes you can live the imagination of another person while not exactly knowing him or her. It is like coming to a restaurant together and he receives the wrong type of meal, not the one he ordered. What would be his reaction like? You don't know that from online. And what is the way he smiles?
The limitation of online connections is the fact that most people "polish" their online image, emphasizing their positive qualities or looks, and not revealing their weak points.
Last but not least, the real life "chemistry" between people might be much different than online, e.g. you may "fall in love" with someone online, but dislike the smell of her parfum, or the touch of his hand when you exchange your casual greetings.
That is why I think meeting someone in-person is better - but with all the safety means in place! - especially when you are closer to 15 than 19.5 y.o. I mean like meeting not in too remote, or too crowded places - but a place which is familiar to you and where you can feel safe. Sorry, but I am a father, and had to say that, too 😊
