More self harm threats....
I have been dating my boyfriend for around 4 or 5 months, we both suffer from sefl harm and I suffer from depression, he told me to stop hurting myself or else he'll kill himself but yet still he keeps hurting himself. Today he said that he wants to tell me something later and if I cry or hurt myself he will stab himself in his vein on his right hand. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do😖😣
@LillySar
Could you write it again , its beyond understanding
Basically, he does self harm a lot and normally when he tells me something sad or that ye hurt himself, I'd cry, so he said this evening he wants to tell me something but he says that if I cry he will hurt himself really badly (stabbing himself)
This is such an unbelievably stressful situation to be in, it’s not fair on both of you. He only wants you to stop by saying he’ll do something you obviously don’t want him to do if you continue to SH.
I know you posted this a week ago but I only saw it now. This is what I would personally do in this situation, I’m not giving you advice but if this helps you in some way or you agree with or think some things I say will be useful then thats up to you if you want to take this as advice.
If I were in this situation I would tell him that SH is something you can’t fix sometimes/at times, it’s addicting and it’s a coping mechanism, sometimes people can’t help it and that’s normal, if I could stop then I would but obviously it is extremely difficult which he knows as he does it and needs to understand that about me, a lot of people struggle to stop.
I’d bring up how he still does it and that it makes me want to do it and it’s not fair that he can but I can’t, it gives me a feeling of unfairness. I’d mention that he knows how hard it is to stop, loads of people struggle to stop, sometimes it’s not a choice to stop because it’s addicting and a coping mechanism.
What I do recommend is that you guys both work together to talk about strategies you guys could both try to avoid SHing and maybe be more open with him about how when he makes these comments it really stresses you out and can’t continue as communication is key in relationships, of course if that is something you want to do. It’s a form of manipulation but his intentions aren’t exactly evil towards you.
This might get taken down as it may be looked at as I’m telling you what to do as advice is not recommended to give out at 7cups.
I really hope things are going more smooth with him since you posted this. 💛
@LillySar
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about this; it sounds like a really stressful situation and it's not fair that you have been put in this situation by him.
It sounds like you're both going through a really hard time and it sounds like you both don't want each other to sh, however, you both have very ways of showing that.
I know that this must have a huge impact on you and that's completely normal. How have you been dealing so far with this situation? Do you think there may be anyone that you could tell to help you both?
It may be a good idea only if you think it's suitable to do so, to talk with him about this and how you feel as well as highlight that he does the same thing, and he should try and put himself in your shoes. I know this is a really hard situation and its hard to talk about.
I'm really proud of you for opening up about this and reaching out for help.
I'm can't give you any advice, as advice may not help you, however, I am here to support you and help you get through this. You can message me at any time and I can give you one-to-one support regarding this situation or anything else on your mind. Stay safe and take care❤️