Not able to connect with anybody

Hi 👋 lately I’ve been feeling like I can’t connect with anybody. Even my best friends. My foster parents . The people who mean the most.

I depend on other people for my happiness. I have multiple mental illness, including suicidal ideation. I felt like the people in my life are what kept me going.

Now everything I ruined because of me. Family and friends don’t like me because of how constantly upset I am. I always cancel plans, and have become more selfish.

I don’t know I’ve i grown past some people or if the depression is just changing (and/or getting worse).

I want friends so badly. But I graduated and it’s so hard to meet people. I haven’t dated in like 3 years because of it.