Personal problems messing with my relationship

Hello there!

I believe my past mistakes and behavior patterns that I saw in my crazy ex and see now on my current relationship(and are necessarily bad patterns or something) are interfering with my relationship and making me counterdependent, making me avoid my girlfriend, scared of intimacy or losing her.

I have great respect for my girlfriend, I am very honest to her and really don't want to lose her and mess with her.

Any advice would be very helpful