idk how to deal with this
hi so starting off I've never vented I've always hated it but rn I really just need to talk to someone ITS ot that hudge of a deal but still yeah, I've never really been an affectionate person i really don't know hwo to comfort someone and things like that and because of this my ex best friend now from primary school just left me she kept saying on how she was happy to have me in her life but I I her feel like shit (fyi she made my weeks shit like fucking shit because she made me feel like shit ) because it seemed like I didn't wanna spend time with her, honestly it's just I love spending time alone but she hates that and smth that I don't get is I told her "I don't hate spending time with you" she said that shit was offending, don't get it. And she also kept saying on how I've never showed any affection or comfort her when talked about hwo she moved from X to here because it was terrible there that she was really depressed there and she was hopping here would make her happy, but I swear I don't know how to show affection I've tried I just can't im lost, I feel bad because I didn't show affection but idk.then she sent me screenshots of her talking to her friend about me "I don't blame him honestly it's js makes me feel like shit i know it's selfish but idgaf" still seems she blames me the way she talks to me and her friend responds "move on then" then she posts of her story "I've been crying all night fuck him lmao" that shit hurt wtf did I do. ik im rlly sensitive but still. I know this relationship was toxic since she moved back here it was terrible but I had to stay with her I had literally no one else and still dont I just hAve 1 or 2 friends at school that I'm not that close with everyone in my school is homophobic,racist,sexist,bitches. and socialising isn't my thing but I dont have anyone. so now I'm here with no one and no idea what to do and I don't know if I should blame myself or not? am I really just a piece of shit because I cant show affection. I've only been affectionate to 1 friend online but she was really nice and constantly supported me and helped me and noticed when I was feeling sad or else . so yeah .
@diradus1 Oh my god please don't blame yourself for this. To be honest I was almost kind of mad when you say that you feel like it's your fault. I'm here telling you right now that this is NOT YOUR FAULT. I can't say that I can relate, because showing affection is something that I'm good at. BUT, not knowing how to show affection was not something that someone does purposely, I-I mean if you don't know how to show affection, then you don't, it's not even that much of a deal. It's just like someone was born with 6 fingers or something. Is there something they can do about it? It's not like they told themselves " Oh yea I want 6 fingers " and then they get born with it. If we won't blame someone that have 6 fingers when they are born, why are we blaming someone who just doesn't know how to show affection when they are born? Like It's something you are born with, there's really nothing you or anyone can actually do about it. If she really sees you as a good friend, then like at least she has to understand that you are someone that's just like her. You are HUMAN TOO, and she needs to learn how to deal with you cause that's just what friends DO. Other things, can't promise, your fault? that's the only thing I know a definite answer, and it's NOOOOOOOOOO.
thanks that answer boosted my mood ur right I cant change that fact but I'm still trying so people don't feel like I really don't care . I