Narrative - My Salvation

Trigger warnings: Blood, satanism, religion. This draft is not for the faint of heart. I'm warning you right now as a leader, that this is a story of my salvation and my journey to Jesus and deals I made with the devil. 

         Hi. I'm Sara, and by the grace of God, I am standing here right now. I guess my story starts with my 13th birthday: The beginning of my teenage years. 

I had a lot growing up, and I still have more as I mature. I had nice toys, the latest American girl dolls, a nice bike, and all the clothes a girl could ever ask for. I was truly happy, without a care in the world. As most of us know, social media can kill any sense of confidence one has. It just so happens that the age minimum for registration is 13 years of age, so being the "grown up" idiot I was, I took it upon myself to create an *** account. For 13 year old me, it was amazing. I learned more from it than I had ever learned. Mind you, this was during the COVID-19 lockdown, so I spent hours scrolling, listening, and reading hundreds of posts. It was a whole new window of the world for me, a "new beginning", a "fresh start". Little did I know, it only opened up the fiery gates of *** to me. 

As influential as the internet was and still is, I was an easily impressionable child and often put value into what others said to me and their opinions of me. I was not an unfortunate looking girl, so with every photo I posted, I got complimented by countless strangers. It was dangerous, I know, but I continued chasing the praise I rarely received from my parents from these random people. My whole life up to that point, I had been taught to be compliant and do what I'm told, so I chose to listen to people when it came to what I did with my body, or my clothes, or my hair. I chose to listen to them when it came to what instrument to choose in 6th grade. When it came to social media standards, I chose to strive for whatever image that the media put out. When the voices in my head spoke up, I chose to listen. Those voices made big promises. They promised eternal happiness, eternal wealth, and everything I could ever ask for. When I heard the voices saying "I promise, I promise, I promise", I gave in. I had no idea where they came from, but I didn't care. I had sold my soul to the devil, and I felt powerful. I hated God. I hated that he put me through this pain and isolation. I hated being stuck in the house and social distancing. I didn't understand anything but the whispers in my ear. These whispers told me to sacrifice my own blood, they told me that my mother was not to be trusted, and they told me that they were more powerful than God himself and they could do the same for me. And I listened. Through listening to these voices, I became a raging Satanist. I bathed in the benefits of my own sacrifices until my health soon declined. Through material and spiritual malnutrition, I became bitter and hateful. I held grudges, I put myself above anyone and anything. I just didn't care. When it came time to return to public school in the 8th grade, I connected with people who brought me closer to earth, until they made the same mistakes I had made; only this time, it was out of my control. The longer the friendship lasted, the stronger they pulled me away from any chance of having faith. At this point in my life, I had let go of my Satanic habits, but I was far from saved. I let go of the friendship that pulled me away from God. Just like Jesus said to his disciples, "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before you", and I took this to heart. They did hate me, and they probably still do. Unfortunately, I can't fix it, a doctor can't fix it, her girlfriend can't fix it; only she can make the choice for herself, just like I made the choice to forgive her and let go of the past. She had brought me to Jesus for a little while, until her connection with Jesus weakened and she nearly pulled me down with her. I left her, I left my old life, and the voices that had been infesting my brain all went silent.