I can sense a curse consuming me

Hello guys,

I’ll go straight to the problem. So this started when I was around 12. I started to feel the urge to hold my pee for a long period of time, because it felt kinda like an ***. The thing is that when I do that I feel like I’m in sort of a trans. I can hold my for hours experiencing the “***” without realising for how long I’m doing till’ get to the point I feel my bladder is going to explode. The weird thing is that I have these “visions”.

When I start to like someone I think about them when I’m holding my pee, but the thoughts are uncontrollable and I always see the person I like struggling to love me. Always. And in my mind I hear the words “He have someone else” or “Let another woman touch you”. This is what I hear and I find it so weird.

I’m in a relationship right now and I’m so happy with him. Yesterday I was laying on the coach and I get into this trans again, I don’t even know for how long I was seeing him crying and grieving for me, when I finally got out of the trans I went to the bathroom and while I was peeing in my mind I heard the words “let’s someone else touch you” ( a couple of times). And it felt like I was saying that to him!

In my hometown, when I was living with my parents since I was little, we always knew that there is something above the house. At night you can hear unexplainable noise and whatever my parents do, they always feel hopeless and nothing works for them. One time, I saw a figure when I woke up and it was right next to my bed, I got up and I thought it was my imagination, but when I got out of the room I saw that figure passing through the window, since then I’m afraid of sleeping alone.

Also we don’t have doorknob in the house. The only room that has a doorknob is the bathroom. Something always happens to the doorknobs and they just break and fall out. This even happened to me when I moved to another city. The doorknob of the bathroom fell off.

I’m spiritual, I sense energy and I believe in this stuff. I also take this seriously, because I don’t want someone’ evil thoughts from long ago (I this that it’s generation curse) to keep ruining my life, my siblings and my parents lives. So if you have any ideas or advice for me, please help me!

Stay safe and healthy out there!