Update.. Trauma.. Going through a hard time
I have been reading Qur'an and making Dua 5 times a day. I have a lot of good friends now that are Muslim. With events in the world though, myself and my friends have been getting threats of violence towards us and a lot of violent pictures and videos being thrown at us. It is really traumatic as someone with C-PTSD. I live in a really bad part of the world that is not accepting at all of Muslims.. If I ever chose to wear hijab I would be shot if I went in public. I am sorry to come out with all this on forums... I recently tried to reach out to a Listener but they tried to tell me to "look at what the bad part of the religion is" as a warning.. that killed me because I am already fearful of retaliation. I already have C-PTSD and a Panic Disorder + Agoraphobia..
I can't talk to my therapist either, she is conservative Christian (where I live.. they are.. once again not kind to Muslims). So I feel very trapped. I am disabled so I don't have the ability to search down a counselor that is friendly to Muslims as I only have Medicaid and Medicare.
I am not letting all this discourage me, it is just quite traumatizing.. I see now what kind of hatred people face in the world even more than I already did..
Every religion EVER has had bad things about it that have happened as a result of politics being mixed in with religion to further a political agenda..
I could really go off on this subject but I really don't want to trigger anyone anymore than I have.
What I did realize is Islam is a religion of love, respect, kindness, compassion.
People who are horrible to people because of their beliefs .... that's not okay at all.
These bullies / trolls and others who push horrible stuff against the Muslim community do so so so much damage.
I can't even trust anyone as a Listener now because I don't know at what point they'll start trying to "convert me" or say horrible things..
Am sorry to hear/read this. No one should go through this kind of thing...
We're not supposed to ask about location but as you keep referring to yours as being unsafe, I'm curious now. Are you in the United States, or some other country? I'm not asking for a specific city or town, just a general idea of where you are. Anti-Muslim sentiment has flared up here & there in the US but on the whole, this country is pretty safe for Muslims. (It's safer than parts of India, I'll tell you that much) All I can figure is you must be in some backwater somewhere in Mississippi or someplace like that.
As far as Listeners go, I've never heard of any instance of a Listener preaching at a member about Jeezus or anything else. The most common problem, for me & others here, is the difficulty of getting ahold of a Listener to begin with! After that the task is to find one that's a good fit for you, one that can perceive where you're coming from, so to speak. If you can find a Listener like that then you've succeeded.
I'm a Muslim and I leave in a Muslim Country but, here many of my people are very stereotype and don't like Islamic culture so many situations I can't express or share many of my religious feelings to my friends. But at least Allah is with me. And don't be afraid Allah, who is creator of the whole universe is with you too. Just pray and do dhikr as much as you can, as good as you can. Always remember Allah is the problem solver and He will solve all your problems. If He closed one door He will open several doors for you, just be patient.
@CapnPika It's been a few months, Pika. How are you getting along?
@CapnPika
I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. What you’re feeling is completely valid, and I admire your strength for holding on despite everything. You’re not alone — Allah sees your struggles and every ounce of patience you show. Please be gentle with yourself, and if you ever want help finding resources or just need someone to listen, I’m here for you. You are stronger than you feel right now, and brighter days will come, Insha’Allah. Stay safe, and keep reaching out. If you still have any confusions reach out to Quranislove.com
@CapnPika
I just came across this thread today, and my heart honestly felt heavy reading what you’ve been carrying, Pika. No one deserves to live with fear, or to feel punished simply for choosing a path that brings them peace. What you described — the threats, the isolation, the feeling of having to “hide” parts of yourself — that would shake anyone, even someone without C-PTSD. The fact that you’re still trying to stay connected to the Qur’an and to dua despite everything… that shows a strength you may not even see in yourself right now.
I’m really sorry that a Listener responded to you that way. When someone is already anxious and looking for safety, being told something insensitive or dismissive can cut very deeply. You didn’t deserve that. And you’re right — hurtful comments from strangers do a lot of damage, especially when someone is vulnerable.
Even from far away, I just want you to know this:
Your fear is valid. Your exhaustion is valid. Your faith, even in small moments, still counts.
Sometimes when the world feels hostile, the quietest acts — a small dhikr, a short dua, a verse you cling to — become the strongest forms of resilience. Allah knows your situation better than any human ever could, and His protection is never limited by geography or the behavior of people around us.
You don’t have to force yourself to be strong every day. Some days surviving is enough.
And if you ever need someone simply to talk to without judgment, many of us here genuinely mean that. You’re not weird, you’re not burdensome, and you’re not alone — not in faith, and not in your struggle.
May Allah put ease in your heart, protect you from harm, and surround you with people who remind you of safety, not fear. One step at a time, Pika. You’ve already come further than you think.
— A well-wisher
(You can explore some gentle Islamic reminders here: Sukoonly.com
