Alternatives to platitudinous "thinking positive"?
I get that positivity is a driving force in many people's lives, but I'm kind of tired of being told I just need to "think positively". Thinking positively isn't going to change my situation so much as it's going to make me feel ridiculous for trying to contrive something just for the sake of positivity. I can force myself to try to see a silver lining, but in the end, it's still just a pile of shit.
Someone who suffers from deep existential dread can't just "think positive", that's like thrown a rug over a stain. Of course I can act positive, and I can see the positivity in things, but in the end, that despair, the feeling of being trapped in my world, is not going to be remedied that way. It will always be there if I keep trying to let it fester under a fake outlook.
I think that we as a society put too much pressure on people to be happy all the time. I don't think we should be. It's what causes people to break down on the job, it's why people freak out in traffic. We're not thinking about those other emotions, we're just trying really hard to be happy and positive all of the time, which is just impossible, so we snap and fall over the edge.
Instead of "thinking positive", what are some ways I can deal with stress, be it from existential dread or daily agitation, that don't pretend that the problem is just a mysterious "negativity" clouding things up?
Hello everyone
@Ashdasdardly
Did you read through thre self help guides, here one for Anxiety https://www.7cups.com/anxiety-help/ .
They offer a more hands-on advice, and put light on the causes of anxiety. Usually the best practice is relaxation training, cognitive behaviour therapy, and a dash of physical exercise. Recently western world started to evaulate the meditation and awarness (or mindfullness) with promising results.
As for the chliched " see things positively" , it is a cliche for a reason. We humans are easily swayed and influenced by the emotions we feel. Those develop more or less strongly according to our evaulation of a situation.. or perspective. See "priming". So "see the glass half full is a more a helpfull tool and not the goal perse.
It's not clear that positivity is really a driving force in anyone's life. It can be strongly linked to magical thinking and denial. When you say it's like a rug thrown over a stain, I completely agree.
What you describe as existential dread sounds like a very deep-rooted feeling you have, and understanding deep-rooted feelings is what psychotherapists do—well, some of us, anyway. So exploring that feeling in partnership with a competent psychotherapist could be a way to overcome the feeling, or at least make it more manageable. It seems likely that if you were able to do that, the daily agitation would take care of itself.
Other ways to understand deep-rooted feelings include the religions and philosophy. I imagine from your use of the term "existential dread" that you already know this.
When I look at the profiles of listeners here at 7 Cups, many of them glow with positivity but some suggest a deeper and more thoughtful approach. That makes me hopeful that you might be able to find listeners here who are able to discuss these things realistically with you.
@Ashdasdardly
Hello world!
Positive thinking is like anything else, too much of it and it becomes a facade rather than actuality. We eventually grow tired of it and start to repeat the same attitude we had previously. Even though positive thinking is an vital part of a healthy attitude, it cannot substain on its own for the sake of mere positivity without logical reason for it. If you are stuck with negative thoughts about a challenging situation or mindset, forced positive thinking will merely be a painful reminder of what isn't, instead of what is. However with that being said, the same can be said of constant negative thoughts as well. Truth is not found in focusing on the positive or negative side, rather accepting both as part of the equation to life. I try not to lead my life with only one mindset, rather I look objectively at both the positive and negative and accept it. If I'm having a terrible day, I allow myself to have a terrible day. If I am focusing on a situation or mindset that brings me pain or discomfort, I accept the discomfort it gives me. Only then will I be able to see both parts of the equation.
I realize this isn't an answer that will suddenly fix all your problems. Then again, that would undermine your intelligence and struggles, if there was such a simple way to resolve it. I believe the solution can only be found through self awareness and looking at what is, through all angles. It's not easy but it's possible.
@TrueArrow opps I, had a typo in my post! I meant sustain not substain 
@Ashdasdardly
I know this doesn't realy help with what you're asking for but seeing as how you've seen through what positive thinking is made to be I thought you might be interested in this:
Depressive Realism
Basically it's hypothesised that people who are depressed or less optimistic than.....well optimists are actually more realistic and aware of their surroundings. It sort of makes sense in a way because other studies have proven that optimists tend to be more depressed in the long run. Basically if you keep deluding yourself about how the outcome of something will be great and fine and then it turns out to be the exact opposite of that you tend to become quite depressed. So if you want to be more content with life be more pessimistic because if you go in with negative expectations you're much likely to be impressed when something goes sligtly wrong.
And I must agree with everything else you've wrote, I really hate it when people claim that the best way to get past something (especially mental health issues is to think positive) because thinking positive isn't going to solve the problem. How can it? It's a state of mind, it has no physical properties or the ability to influence physical properties and what are you going to do when you run out of positive things to think about?
@Ashdasdardly
I agree with you that it is not posible to switch to think positve from one moment to the next. At the end it is denying your actual situation. You see what is going on and try to say: Ah well, I have to be positive, then everything will be fine.
It doesn't work like this at all. I am not sure if I am allowed to use a link here but I hope it works
There is an interesting article about this topic called How to think positive and why you still fail.
It basically says that you have to get out of the dualistic positive/negative thinking and how you can do that.
