How do I stop someone from pushing my buttons?..
My monster in law lives with us( my son -me- hubby) by force against my wishes .. She has the personality of " scarlet Ohara" from the movie " gone with the wind"... She thinks the world evolves around her and she's greedy and selfish and very ignorant and I'm having a hard time coping with her here in what's supposed to my home my sanctuary ... She gets a thrill out of trash talking my parents and my sisters my nieces and nephews and all my other relatives too .. But she really crosses the line when does it to my kids ...I never knew hatred until I met her... Please somebody give me advice because I feel like snapping it's bad enough I have BPD which she uses against me too.. Can anyone relate to a monster like her you gotta deal with on a daily basis?
Remove yourself from her. If you have to see her be fake and if you don't let it bother you it will push her buttons. Or you could say something like, it must be exhausting being such a pent up bitch all the time. Smile and walk away?
Oh my gosh yes thank you so very much for responding I do beleive this may work unless she tells her son I am being mean to her like a child would because like usual it's always ok for her to attack me but when I defend myself she blabs to him about it ..which causes even more hell for me after all it is his mommy and well he has to defend her from his wife which is me...
Step away. Breathe. Remind yourself you can get through being around her. If you feel you're gonna react, remove yourself from the situation. Go Have a glass of water or sprinkle some water onto your face.
Also good yes thank you she is really toxic I tell ya..
Sounds like such a difficult situation.
It's really hard not to hate, even when someone really does get under your skin but it harms you more than anyone else.
do you have a mantra? Sometimes they help me to say over & over when I'm faced in that sort of situation too.
I simply say KARMA is on it's way ..and in the end I will laugh at your pain old lady ...
Say whatever you need to yourself to get youreelf through it.
remember that even though you can't control what she does or say and even thoooough a lot of the time, especially bpd doesn't feel you have a choice how to react, there are other options,
I have a couple of sarcastic t- shirts that I will wear in front of her one of them says " if I was a bird I know who's head I would shit on"... Another one says " if you only knew what I was thinking about you wouldn't be smiling "... But my all time favorite one is " I keep throwing water on my monster in law but she won't melt"... And the cool thing is she has to read it all day long and I don't have to say a word ....
