35-year old, disabled life-failure, plagued by loneliness... help...

Yet another one of those sleepless nights...

I feel like, at age 35, and collecting disability just tosurvive, I am an abject failure at life itself. Despite trying so hard I broke my mind, just to have a normal life, I now feel terrible when I see my life has gone nowhere. I hace failed in the career climb, relationship game, and even the friend-making (and keeping) market. I have ONE "friend" and no family to lean on. Yes, some people have nobody, but this "friend" is a grumpy old man who shares the same distaste for life; he has AIDS... his own cross to bear. The loneliness beast lurks in the darkness of my bedroom, keeping me awake and ensuring I do not rest for my dental surgery tomorrow. I can't ignore the hungry elephant in the room. But paying it attention makes me feel like I want to break down and cry; nobody to hug me to say it's alright.

I fear it is too late to get back on that bike after so many times falling off of it has scarred me.

Thanks for listening, whoever you are...

Jessica