Idk how to feel

I'm trying to accept this version of myself because I'm really tired of fighting to go back to a version of me that was happy. This new version is negative, a lot more isolated and I don't want to hurt people. My friends know me to be the opposite (extroverted etc) but that's not me, anymore. I'm tired of having to socially mask myself in public but if I don't, I think I would lose all my friends with my negativity. Anyone here struggling with something, I really need to know how to move forward, now that I know I'm somewhat of a negative and pessimistic person.