I feel like im nothing without men’s validation/attention
Its embarrassing how I’m about to turn 24, and I still feel like the ugly, little girl that guys don’t want to be around. I spent my entire elementry-high school experience solely being bullied by guys. I finally made a guy friend freshman year - but he also hated me and bullied me like the rest.
I’ve met other guys briefly outside of school, like meeting friend’s bfs. They’ve also have made rude comments towards me. I had a friend recently try to set me up with her coworker, she showed him a picture of me and he said “well.. shes… not ugly..” ???? not “shes pretty.” or “shes cute.” … Just “…not ugly.” its like he was fighting to not to offend my friend and said didnt want to say the truth, which was he found me unattractive.
I don’t understand what’s so wrong with me. Why do men enjoy putting me down so much? I have sm other experiences where they actively bodyshamed me and made fun of my body. I feel so repulsed to men. I don’t feel like anything about me is attractive or likable to them. Other girls regularly get hit on, ask out, get love confesssions. Every time if a guy even bothers interacting with me, he just wants to put me down/neg me. Im tired.
Online men seem to be nicer. But irl men have screwed me up so bad - I feel like online men are completely lying to me about finding me attractive or interesting. I just cannot believe I can be wanted by a guy, it seems like a make believe daydream at this point.
@SmolTrash
What you’re describing isn’t about you being “unattractive”, it’s just years of bullying and cruelty which has shaped how you see yourself. When boys put you down repeatedly as you’re growing up, your brain adapts to that, so now rejection feels inevitable. Someone saying you're “not ugly” comment was rude and immature. It honestly says more about him than you.
And you’re not behind, broken, or embarrassing at 24. You’re just carrying an old wound into adulthood. Online men don’t automatically lie, they’re often just not performing the way some men do in real life. You are not unlovable. You were hurt very early on and repeatedly. But that can be unlearned.
@SmolTrash
Don't give them this power.
What's attractive or special about these men running you down?
Only bullies and insecure little men, need to bodyshame or belittle someone.
They are not all that
You need to take them down off their high horses and the pedestal they've put themselves on and stand up for yourself.
They don't determine your worth.
Well rounded, respectful men don't need to tear women down.
You deserve to love yourself first and then find someone who knows how wonderful you are, you don't need anyone's validation, but your own 💚🤗
