Lose-Lose

@XneedsHelp in the darkest times, may a light shine your way 💖 when all seems lost, may God show you the way 💗 and when you feel like you can't carry on, lean on 7 cups we are all here for you 💗

@XneedsHelp

Your words sound like a soul of a person in pain: feeling of loss, exhaustion, depression and self-blame.

It feels like you tried to meet expectations so high, that they can never be fully met.

You are right, the world might be black and white.

Reading your message I thought about yin and yang, the rule of balance.

There is always a sunny slope and a shady slope of the hill. When you are doing something good, you do something wrong at the same time. And when you do something wrong, there might be a silver lining under the cloud. For example:

When you struggle for a higher education you are getting rid of your money.

When you are trying hard to develop your own business, you may sacrifice your relationship.

When you are deep into family matters, like helping someone who is disabled, ill or just needing care and attention, you may miss some opportunities for a professional success.

Cherishing your mission or your job you may neglect your children.

Working two jobs you are getting additional income and experience, but may put at risk your health in the long term.

When you buy a house, you gain home, but you lose your mobility, being tied to one place.

When you are a rolling stone, you are open to discover, but you may feel homeless and alone.

This is about the power of NOT doing, or at least being cautious and doing in a moderate way.

You deserve to be in this world, no matter if you do something, or you don't do anything.

You deserve to feel calm, to feel you are right and enough. You deserve rest and small pleasures.

Look around and see that despite your success or loss the world is still there: can you see, hear, touch, smell or taste anything?

And now let yourself to be the person you really are: without stress, without too much guilt, without tiptoeing to meet anyone else's real or presumed expectations towards you.

You are good enough as you are. Certainly, you did your best and you didn't mean anything wrong.

If you made mistakes, take a careful look at them. But with no guilt that hurts, no self-hate. It's very human to make mistakes and search for your path. And it's not to bring you pain, but for you to gain knowledge what you should do more and what you had better avoid in future.

It's good you are here. It's good you are telling us how you are feeling.

If you would like to talk to a therapist, to help you see your emotions and troubles from a perspective, that also could be a good idea.

Where you are here might be one of the peak points, but your story is certainly not over - and there might be still some happy endings waiting.

Hey :)

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, I've also gained and lost a lot of things in life. Know that we don't have control over everything in life and that's okay, because you're still moving forward and that alone shows strength!

You don't know the inner thoughts of your partner or why they did what they did, but you've tried, and that's all that matters, you might say “I could've tried harder” sure you could, but that doesn't guarantees a different outcome so don't beat up yourself over it? There are people who abuse their partners and they stay, and then there are people that worship their partner and they still leave, life is just like that!

Focus on work, improving your skills and abilities, reach out to people, do things you enjoy, it can be anything, something small or big.. anything! Explore a new hobby or two, try something someones recommended, watch some trendy films, explore different genres, go out in different weathers, maybe treat yourself with someone sweet or spicy whichever you prefer :)

You can also always get a cat, or dog, if you're a dog person, studies show that having a pet significantly decreases signs of anxiety and depression and improve mood.

And lastly, don't be so hard on yourself! I'll give you some scoldings because you need it! (I'm sorry I'm just asian) reading that passage tells me that you're far too self blaming and trust me it's not your fault, even if you think it is, sometimes life and circumstances lead us to do things that we wouldn't do otherwise but that's life... This is also your first time living so be kind, because either we're alone or surrounded by many, we need ourselves first before anyone else.

So forgive yourself, and do yourself a favor and take action, (but do it at your own pace) you'll see how it changes everything, go out there, meet someone, live life, life has a lot to offer.