Self-Harm Recovery Check-In: Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019
Happy Tuesday lovely SHR Community!
This is today's gentle reminder for all of us: our feelings are valid. We have a right to feel exactly what we are feeling, and think exactly what we are thinking. It doesn't mean we have necessarily to act on them. But emotions and thoughts are allowed to be.
Check-in questions:
How are you feeling today?
How has the week started for you?
Is there anything you are looking forward to accomplishing in the next few days, or anything you are totally not looking forward to doing?
I am looking forward to hearing from you as always!
With love from France,
Valeria
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Hi valeria, hope you're well
I'm doing alright now, but it's only 7 am so it could go either way still
Yesterday wasn't the best but I'm trying to not let it affect the rest of the week too much
I don't really have much I look forward to or am dreading
@Madaraismyspiritanimal
Hi dear Richard,
It's nearly 1pm now and I hope your day has taken a nice turn. I am sorry to hear that yesterday wasn't a great day for you... but you are doing very well in trying not to linger too much over those upsetting moments, whilst still accepting them.
Take care, tight hugs for you
@admaiorasemper Hey V - How are you?
Not doing so good here. Idk - not to sound dramtic - but I kind of don't care
It's only Tuesday - but man it's been a long week.
Thank you for the check in. Take care - I hope you have a good rest of the week
@mytwistedsoul
Hi J, thank you for checking in today. I am sorry to hear you're not doing so good. And I geat that feeling of not caring about it. Sometimes it is just like that and, well, even this feeling is allowed to be. I hope you will still be able to be curious about what is going on though, and cultivate some awareness.
I am...hmm, not sure. Not ok to be honest, but I cannot really understand why and how. Thank you for asking, you are always kind and caring.
I would like to virtually hug you if that is ok, or then waving at you in a nice and smiling way. Take care.
@admaiorasemper
How are you feeling today? I am feeling good.
How has the week started for you? It started off great. I went to a concert last night and volunteered at a food bank today. I also think I did well on my chemistry quiz.
Is there anything you are looking forward to accomplishing in the next few days, or anything you are totally not looking forward to doing? I have to take a math test this week :(
Hi there @PurpleSnail! Thank you for being here with us today!
I am glad to hear that your week has started off great and that you are feeling good!
It
How are you feeling today? Surprisingly okay. Productive. Got all my work done so I've got some free time.
How has the week started for you? Off on a rough start, a mild paranoid episode, but it's gotten better. I'm getting into the swing of things and back into the swing of 7cups.
Is there anything you are looking forward to accomplishing in the next few days, or anything you are totally not looking forward to doing? Not looking forward to a French presentation I've gotta give in two days. In fact, very nervous.
Hi there @grej.
I see your account is no longer active... I hope you are doing ok… Just wanted to say that we are here for you and happy to support you...
@admaiorasemper Thanks for thinking about me. I'm doing ok, though and my account is back now. 
I hope you're doing ok too!
@grej
I'm happy you're back and happy that you are doing ok! I'm also ok, thanks for asking! Hope to see you around :)
@admaiorasemper
I'm feeling okay for the most part.
I started the week off by getting to hear my grandbaby's heartbeat for the first time. I also had a doctor's appointment for myself today. Went in to talk about hormone replacement and came out with a script for quetiapine and a "diagnosis" of "manic depression" (doing some reading this is the old school way of saying bipolar) based on the symptoms I gave of major mood swings and self-harm/suicidal thinking along with the pain and cramping of my cycles. I don't know that I fit this diagnosis but will try the meds as I know I am depressed even if I have never had an official diagnosis. For the record in the past I have describe the exact same symptoms to 3 others doctors and none of them thought I had any issues at all (1 of the 3 was my long-time GP of over 20 years, the other 2 were replacements after he retired).
I am not looking forward to starting meds. I have resisted medicating myself for decades, for anything, because I have watched family and friends take meds for various mental and regular health issues that didn't help or turned them into "zombies" with no real emotion or interest. I am scared of medications and side effects. I don't even take my asthma medications unless I have to to avoid a trip to ER. I have also not medicated my acid reflux outside of eating a ton of calcium bicarb tablets to help settle things (tried medications and they either didn't work or the side effects made it not worth the effort).
Hi there @wittyEyes6543, thank you for joining today
@admaiorasemper
Thank you for the kind words. I think I will be going back before I try starting the meds as my doctor did not give me any blood work to do and I notice that the SSRI medications and the class quetiapine are in can cause liver and kidney function issues but if he has no baselines how will he know mine are off my normal mark ("normal range" isn't always normal for everyone). He also never offered counselling or referral to a psychiatrist or psycologist just the meds, he is not a trained mental health professional just a regular general doctor so how can he make the diagnosis??? (FYI I do NOT trust doctors in the least so now I'm back to not wanting to take meds...never let someone who does research as part of their job look up stuff).
@wittyEyes6543
You made me smile with your last comment, never let someone who does research as part of their job look up stuff :) Definetely relate to that!
I think it may be a good idea to go back to him and had a blood test and then start with the meds, it will certainly make you feel more comfortable. It is my understanding that GPs can pescribe those kind of meds, at least they do here in France. I had a look at the one your mentioned (see --- researcher's curiosity!!!) and it seems to be working both for depression (with GPs can spot) and bipolar disorder. Maybe this is the reason why he chose that? You are very right on the fact that he should have suggested you to consult with a psychiatrist or therapist too though, as bipolar disorder (and depression) would benefit from therapy.
@admaiorasemper
Nice to know I can give someone a laugh.
I decided to side step my new GP and went through the self-referral line to the local mental health team. Should hear back in a couple of days. Tried to make an appointment with the GP and he is now booking into the new year and I am begining to think that the medical system in Canada is too broken to be useful (thank you to a gov't who wants to go to a more US style system).
@wittyEyes6543
Booking into the new year, wow. That is not really helpful. I think you did great in contacting the local mental health team directly. I hope you will hear from them soon. I'd be happy if you'll keep us updated (if you wish, of course). Take care, * tight hugs *
@admaiorasemper
Thank you. I will keep you updated (if I remember..not always great at keeping things up to date). I did hear back but they are also booking into January, but sooner than my GP so I took an appointment with them to see what they recommend. In the meantime my hubby is being my rock and reminding me that we will get through this (I think he is a bit saint-like to put up with my mood swings).
@wittyEyes6543
I'm happy to hear that you have such a supportive husband! You will get through this :)