Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Monday, December 14th, 2020
Heya everyone, happy Monday!
1) How are you feeling today?
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately?
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing?
4) What other progresses would you like to reach?
Feel free to share anything else in your mind! I’ll be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
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1) How are you feeling today?
Like a fraud liar and a cheat
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately?
I got passed over for several jobs. My back pain is also worse
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing?
Not much. I guess it is another day I haven't actively self harmed
4) What other progresses would you like to reach?
That just living isn't a daily struggle.
@Flornhope
Hey there ! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling like a fraud, liar and a cheat, that doesn’t sound like a pleasant feeling… Did something specific trigger that ?
I hope you can have success on finding a job that works for you! As for your back pain, is it sometimes easier to handle?
It’s a great accomplishment to not have actively self-harmed! I really hope you can also reach this other progress.
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves
I get that way when I have much human interaction. I am applying to anywhere and everywhere I can for a job. Nothing yet. I have good days and bad days with my back. I walked and exercised more than normal so that's why it was extra crummy. Yep it's good not to purposefully hurt myself. Thank you very much
@Flornhope
Best of luck for finding a job !
@LinearWaves Thank you
@LinearWaves
1) How are you feeling today?
I'm not feeling very well today. A lot of things seem to be bothering me.
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately?
I have 4 more days until Christmas break. My daughter has been very emotional today. I wish I could do more to help her.
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing?
We were shorthanded at work and I has to step up in a position I didn't want. I had to fill in for 2 of my managers while they were out. I like to think I handled it well.
4) What other progresses would you like to reach?
I would like to see my therapist again so I can work on me. It feels like I don't even know who I am anymore.
Hope you are doing well.
@RedHawk6547
I can relate to the feeling of not having any time to get reaccquinted with myself during busy periods. Sometimes I spend a few mintues while I'm loading the dishwasher or sorting laundry to do something related to that, like think about what a dream meant to me or something.
<3
@RedHawk6547
Hey there ! I’m really to hear you’re not feeling very well today, with a lot of things that seem to be bothering you… Do you think some of these things could be sorted out?
Good luck for your 4 days left until your break! Do you have some things planned during this break with your daughter?
Well done on filling in even though you didn’t want the position! It sounds like you did great!
I hope you can see your therapist soon, so as to discuss this with them, it sounds pretty confusing to feel like you don’t know who you are anymore so I hope you can reconnect with yourself. In the meantime, do you think doing hobbies or things that matter to you could be helpful so as to recenter on yourself?
Take care of yourself and thanks for checking in!
1) How are you feeling today?
I am feeling a little overwhelmed today. I have lots of things to do, and lots of messages to reply to, and it's all a little stressful. So many things needs my attention, and it's a little draining.
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately?
I got to have a little bit of fun this past week, which was really nice. I'm learning to stay in the moment, and breathe. Even though life is kinda stressful right now, I'm learning t take it as a comes, and just breathe through it
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing?
I'm noticing that I'm starting to be less affected by the negative things that happen, and I'm starting to be more grateful for the things I have. My urges don't come as frequently or as intensely as they used to either.
4) What other progresses would you like to reach?
I would like to learn to manage emotional rollercoasters better. I'd also like to be able to bounce back from bad days and slip ups quicker
@honestpanda81
We definitely share that bounce back goal. Sometimes it feels like disappointment is the heaviest burden to me.
Let me know if you find that anything helps.
@honestpanda81
Hey there! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling a little overwhelmed today… It sounds like you have a lot to do indeed which can definitely get stressful and quite draining… I hope you managed to get everything you wanted/needed done! I don’t know if that’s doable but when I feel that I have too many things to do, I like to try and plan my day, or to split things into smaller tasks or groups of tasks, so as to make it feel more manageable!
It’s really amazing to hear that you’re learning to stay in the moment and breathe, especially as things are stressful! It’s also a great thing that you’re less affected by the negative things, and more grateful for the things you have, it’s a really important switch! Do you think that focusing less on those negative things is also what helped your urges come less frequently/intensely?
I wish you the best of luck for you upcoming progresses, seeing the ones that already happened I have no doubt you will get there!
Thanks for checking in, take care!
1) How are you feeling today?
Pretty terrible, unfortunately. It's still worth it, though.
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately?
Well: I'm coming to the end of one of my big work projects and I feel good about it. We chose a very ambitious timeline so this feels like a particularly big achievement. I've also been enjoying connecting with my family remotely once a week.
Not too well: I live with my ex, and things are very very bad in that context.
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing?
I've been working out consistently five times a week for six months now, which is really incredible. I lost a lot of movement in the quaratine that I normally got in moving between buildings all day at work, so this is good.
I am also moving my way slowly through a personal project, in the nights after I log my work and class hours. It's a huge undertaking, but I don't think I would have taken it on at all if we weren't quaratined, so that's one peak in a sea of valleys.
4) What other progresses would you like to reach?
I would love to not be so angry at the person I have to live out the rest of this lease with. I don't see how that will happen, though.
I would also like to record my dreams more regularly. I do pretty well, but I don't do it every morning and I bet I'm missing things.
@nordurnStar
Hey there! I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling so terrible… It’s a great and positive mindset that you have here though, it’s really nice to see!
Well done on coming to the end of one of your big work projects! How long do they usually take? It’s really great that you managed to finish it within this ambitious deadline!
Living with your ex sounds like a tough thing to do and I’m sorry to hear that things are very bad… I don’t really know if that’s doable, but do you think your anger could be reduced by ignoring them or at least focusing on yourself and only caring about what you’re doing?
As for your personal project, congrats on moving your way slowly through it! It can be hard to stay consistent when there’s a lot of work to put but not a lot of time in the day, but it looks like you’re nailing it!
Oh recording your dreams sounds interesting! I’ve noticed that the more I record my dreams, the easier it gets to remember them more in details, is it the same for you?
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves
Hi! You're very sweet.
We have a quarter-based schedule at work so this one started in September and is coming to an end now with the year. I like this kind of timeline; long enough to get things done and short enough to keep me interested (:
I think your advice about my ex is wise; I have been trying to refocus more on what I'm doing/am. There is a balance, of course. Without some kind of contact between the two of us it can become both hostile and isolated, a pretty bad combination.
Definitely the same for me with my dreams. That's part of why I want to get more consistent with recording them. Do you think about yours at all after you write them down?
Thanks for connecting!(:
@nordurnStar
It sounds like a good timeline indeed, long enough yet short enough !
Of course yes, completely ignoring the other one would be pretty insulting and counterproductive, I meant it more as in focusing on yourself and taking care of yourself, even though not hating is always easier said than done… I hope you can find the right combination!
Most of the time when I put in the effort to remember them in details (and when I can remember them) they kinda stay and I’m able to remember them almost as if I had really lived them. But other times I’m unable to remember much of them, only a few blurry details and then they just fade in a few hours… How long have you been recording them if you don’t mind me asking?
Take care!
1) How are you feeling today? I'm not sure. A mix of depressed and anxious
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately? We had to have one of our dogs put to sleep on Thanksgiving day. The house is quieter and it feels emptier. But sometimes when I'm doing something its like I forget she's not here anymore and I catch myself rushing back inside to check on her. There's guilt that we waited so long and she was suffering. I have been harming myself and knowing that I shouldn't be makes me do it more. Its hard to keep my thoughts in order and there's way too much dissociation
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing? I think I was getting better at not isolating so much and being able to reach out but that has changed lately
4) What other progresses would you like to reach? I'd like to stop seeing myself so harshly but I feel like I'm failing people because I either don't or can't give them what they want and I know it hurts them. I'd like to stop seeing myself as toxic but I think that's how others see me too and thinking that adds to the desire to isolate because it's painfully obvious that I'm not good for people
Thank you for the checkin
@mytwistedsoul
Hey there! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling depressed and anxious, this doesn’t sound like a pleasant mix… I’m really all heart with you and sorry for your loss, it must be really tough to have the house feel quieter and emptier, and heartbreaking to want to check on her… I really hope that you can feel better about it all even though it will take time. Do you feel that this guilt is causing the self-harm? I just wanted to say: you did what you could, in the way that you thought was the best at that time. Looking back it may feel like it wasn’t the best way to handle it, yet at that time you did your best, I really hope remembering that can ease some of the guilt you’re feeling <3 Are there some usual coping mechanisms that you could use so as to prevent or reduce the self-harm?
Sometimes we can definitely take some steps back on progresses that we thought we had made. And it’s alright, it’s still a progress even if it’s not 100% accomplished yet!
It sounds like tough feelings to handle… Do you feel like you have to meet others’ expectations? What I mean with this question is, what matters the most is that you can give what you want to yourself first, others come after (even though it may sound selfish, it’s not!) I really hope that these feelings can get easier to handle!
Thank you for checking in, take care!
@LinearWaves Thank you for your reply and kind words.
It is some of the reason why the self harm started again and I do have coping methods but I havent been putting them to use. So I need to do better and try harder. I know in away that I should maybe take some comfort in the fact that she's no longer suffering
I do feel like I should meet people's expectations - if I don't there's repercussions - rejection and the silent treatment and people won't like me. Realistically I know it doesn't really matter but Idk - just childhood issues coming out to play
Thank you - I hope you take care too
@mytwistedsoul
I guess sometimes we know how to cope, yet we don’t want to because there’s something comforting in relapsing… It’s good to see you’re willing to fight it though!
I get you on meeting people’s expectations, it can be hard not to, especially if there are repercussions (although for the record, there shouldn’t be, only your own expectations need to be met <3) plus childhood issues linked to it. I hope you can meet more people who don’t put expectations on you!
Thanks! Have a nice day, take care!
@LinearWaves
1) How are you feeling today?
I am honesty feeling like really tired because i stood up all night thinking again.
2) What is going well and not-so-well lately?
Something that is going well is....Christmas. A well-not is that me and my dad are fighting again and it's getting worse.
3) What are some small (or big) progresses that you’re noticing?
Some progresses happening is that a relashinship is creeping around the cornor again but honsesty i don't know if i should trust it (What do you think i should do, please comment giving me positive advise, Thank you.)
4) What other progresses would you like to reach?
I would like to get closer with my father.
@neatCat8904
Hey there ! I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so tired, did your thoughts stopped you from sleeping? I hope you can catch some needed rested soon enough!
Yay in 10 days! I’m sorry thought to hear that you’ve been fighting with your dad and that it’s getting worse… Do you think there is something that could help, for example talking calmly with him or making a step toward him? I really hope the situation gets better!
It can be tough to know if a relationship is worth it or not, and if we should trust it and go for it or not! I can’t give you any advice as I don’t know enough about the situation, but the only thing I can say is that it seems that this relationship matters to you! Also, when in doubts, it’s okay to go as slow as you need until you’re trusting enough and it’s also okay to communicate your doubts/worries/questions to the other person.
Thanks for checking in, take care!
@neatCat8904
I just had a dream about my own father. I'm working on my relationship with him, too.
Easiest thing for us has been doing a shared activity together (remotely, recently). Takes some of the pressure off.
Good luck!<3
