Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Thursday August 6, 2020
Hello, everyone! Todays topic is on bridging statements, which is a continuation from my other weeks checkin! Click here for the previous checkin! I have been meaning to post this a while ago, but life got in the way and I couldn't post. So what exactly are bridging statements? In my own definition, they are statements we can say that changes a negative statement into a slightly more positive or potentially positive statement.
In my experiences of being in therapy, I find all the therapists Ive seen ask me to change my negative thoughts into positive thoughts. However, it can be very difficult to change from Everything sucks to Life is just brilliant and I love it!, which is changing a negative thought to a positive thought.
This is where bridging statements can come in handy. Bridging statements bridge the gap between the negative and the positive thought, but it doesnt jump directly from one to the other. An example of a bridging statement for the above could be Life ISNT Great right now, but MAYBE it could get better or Life isnt all bad, there might be some good around the corner. It can help make the positive statement feel a bit more believable and easier to grasp.
Questions!
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us?
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in?
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help?
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do?
I hope the rest of your day goes well and take care of yourself! xx
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Hey there :)
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us? Been really busy lately at work, to be honest there's a pretty bad mood at work at the moment so it's tiring. Nobody seems to be organized, things just go wrong left, right and center ... We might be called in on weekends but only know last minute ... Can't wait for things to calm down !
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in? Life sucks at the moment, but I know that there circumstances are exceptional therefor this won't last forever, things will calm down soon.
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help? Never heard of them before your post so I'll give it a try now and again :)
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do? What I'd love to do is go to an abandoned beach, somewhere far away and just have some time for myself. Enjoy the sea, the sand. Stay at the beach late at night and watch the sun set while listening to some soft music.
Take care <3
@Slizzy564
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us?
I am in a good mood. My family is finally starting to recognize that I need help and they are getting me therapy. I am so excited to start healing.
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in?
"Maybe I am not as ugly as I say I am if so many people are calling you beautiful". "You do not understand this one problem, that doesn't mean that you are stupid or dumb". "I can use some exercise and workouts, but that does not neccessarily make my body any less attractive than the girls on Instagram".
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help?
I tried it in a miniscule way once, and it eased the pain just a little bit.
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do?
Go out of my house and out of town just for a getaway to a resort and treat myself.
@nathesamurai
Hey there !
Glad to hear about the good mood, and such good news !! I wish you all the best on your journey of recovery !
Those are very good bridging statements there :)
Hum in a way these aren't miraculous but if they eased the pain, only a slightest then there's always that to it. Maybe there are other methods that will work better for you ;)
Oh yeah getting away from home is nice now and again, seeing new places and meeting new people. And of course treating ourselves never hurts ;)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@rebecca947
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us?
I'm ok. Staying positive but these crazy long shifts in the hospital are exhausting. Overall, just enjoying life whenever I can though
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in?
"I'm unlovable" "I may feel unlovable now but in reality, I have a lot of people who care" "I'm so fat" "I'm working on my fitness. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm working to improve my physique"
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help?
No but I love this idea. Thanks for sharing
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do?
Go camping and hiking in the mountains with the horses. Then go to the beach!
Hey @BraveAdventurer !
I'm glad to hear that you're staying positive ! A good mindset can helps us in hard and demanding times. Thoses shifts at the hospitals must be hard to deal with. Lots of stuff to do and people's lives in your hands, those are big responsabilities. Sometimes life can be enjoyed by paying attention to the little things when you can. I hope you get some time to rest soon <3
Feeling unlovable and judgment about physical apparence seem tricky to deal with. Typically they are not the sort of issues that suddenly change over night so bridging statements seem particularly useful here. But just so you know, and this is only my opinion, but everyone is lovable and not everyone cares about physical apparence. I hope that you get to feel other's love for you a bit better over time !
Just like you, I discovered theses bridging statments today !
Oooh camping and hiking with horses sounds cool ! Now I want to have a bonfire and grill marshmellows :)
Take care <3
@rebecca947
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us?
I'm ok. It's the last full day of vacation. I'm going to take it slow and read and exercise, and not do very much.
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in?
Between "That was terrible: I'm a failure" and "That wasn't at all my fault - I did my best" the bridge would be "That didn't go the way I expected. I tried, but maybe there are some things to learn."
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help?
Yes, and yes. It's hard to become conscious of unhelpful thoughts and reframe them, but it really helps me. Cos bad and destructive inclinations are tied to certain unhelpful thoughts / unconscious beliefs.
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do?
I'm just finishing mine. But it was very much changed because of the current circumstances. I would like to ride my bike for hundreds of miles somewhere cool with friends (or some other athletic challenge), and then go somewhere beautiful and either quiet and beautiful or culturally foreign (Japan) to recover.
Hey @1morday ! Sorry for the late reply !
I hope you made the most of that last day of holiday :) I'm curious, what are you reading at the moment ?
Hum very wise bridging thought there, I tend to think that there is always a lesson to be learnt in any situation. I'm glad to hear that bridging thoughts help you. It does seem to be quite a challenge to identify one's unhelpful thoughts. Though I do agree that they can be responsible for quite a few behaviors.
Seems like the current circumstances have changed a lot of plans. I hope you enjoyed your vacation all the same ? That bike ride seems really fun and then traveling to recover sounds wonderful. I've always wanted to visit Japan also !
Take care <3
@Slizzy564
I always have a ton of books on the go.
In the last few days I have been reading:
- The little book of Big Feelings by Marzi Wilson (I feel like lots of you would love Marzi, if you don't know her...)
- The complete guide to fasting - Dr. Jason Fung
- The Keto Bible - Dr. Jacob Wilson
- Summary of Scholastic Principles - Bernard Wuellner (Philsophy)
- The Book of Pastoral Rule - St. Gregory the Great
@1morday
Wow that's quite a few ! They sound interesting ! And no I haven't heard of Marzi, would have to check out all this when I've finished reading my stuff :)
Ilove this idea of bridging thoughts! It makes so much sense because we can't go from our down thought right to this happy affirmation because we don't believe it...YET! Personally, I tryto be mindful of what the heck im am saying to myself and quickly change it to something true and more positive . Thanks for that informative post :)
And now, for the questions:
Questions!
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us?
Well, The day is Literally Just starting as it is 1 am here on the 8th...but I'll go off the day so far ( lol) : Feeling really good. Have been thinking of how I used to feel and how I do know...and I realized how far I have come and all that I have Overcome - just feeling really proud and greatful.
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in?
One reoccuring thought I have is " I will never be financially stable or on my own". So, my bridging statement would be " I am making the changes I need right now in order to take the first steps in building my financial freedom." or, " It might take some time but I am not helpless and daily I chose things that help me reach my goal."
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help?
I have, yes. And yes, they help so much. I like to always question my statement and ask, : is this true"? And then from there create my truth and briging statment.
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do?
My holiday would be St. Self Care Day. I would celebrate with 24 days of preperation calendar, and each day there would be a self care activity to enjoy. I would decorate with white lights all over my room and bathroom ( oh yes, its the sacred holiday room where the spa preperations will take place). The day would start with meditatin early in the morning, followed by gratitude lists as I sit outside in an autumn breeze sipping coffee. The self care list had been created and all preperations already bought, of course ( or not in your self care is to stop making lists and let life happen). I would fill my holiday with things that feed my mind, soul , body and spirit. All foods eaten this day or good for the body and nourish the body. I will read a favorite book, or go swimming, or walk around in the grass bearfoot, or write poetry...and as evening comes, i would retire to the sacred bathroom for the SPA activities of the night (lol). Nothing that i do for other people, but all for me, what I like. face masks, bath bombs, lotions, music, oil, candles, scents and relaxing waters. Yeah, I think i have something on this self care holiday. oh, and of course, its a paid holiday off :)
And a quick note of hello to all my old friends here in our community and on 7 cups as a whole. And a quick hi there to anyone I have not met yet. I wanted to say I stared 7 cups with so much SH, so much CRAP going o in my head and my life. Its been A LOT ( LOT) of inner work, daily ( DAILY). and stayig in that beyond the comfort zone ( you kow, where growth happens) ...but I can happily say It has been YEARS AND YEARS that I have been SH free!!! I do not even count the years anymore because I am not waiting to mess up and recount. This is just my life now and SH is off the options list.
I say this not to brag or make anyone really struggeling right now feel hopless. Totally the opposite! Just wanted to say , hey there - SH is not a lifetime sentance. And if you would have know me then and see how down the deep dark rabbit hole i was...you would KNOW - that you too, you too can do it! And ofc, props to all those SH freem no matter how many days! Your all worth this recovery.
@blissedNblessed
Thanks for sharing Blissed. It's good to meet you :)
Hi there @blissedNblessed !
Wow that's a very positive start to the day ! Hope the good vibes stay with you :) Looking back on our journey really makes us realize how far we've come. I'm glad to hear that your proud of your journey.
Financial freedom sounds like a long term goal made of plenty of little steps in between. I really hope you get there one day ! Very good use of a bridging thought there ! Though you seem to already be an expert :) There's a lot of truth in questioning our automatic thoughts and reframing them to reality.
Wow that holiday sounds like heaven, not gonna lie ! I think that type of place would be successful, everyone needs a bit more self care and positivity :) I'm loving all the self care activities you're listing here, my favorites would have be : enjoying the autumn breeze, walking in the grass barefooted and poetry :)
Thanks for your positive and encouraging words, it's lovely to hear that you're in a better place now. I hope your words help other that are struggling to see the end of the tunnel. Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@rebecca947
1. How are you today? Is there anything you'd like to share with us?
I'm meh it's actually the 8th today I'm a little late lol. I Haven't really been okay recently I've really been struggling with body image and just sensitive lately. I am proud that we went grocery shopping and then my husband and I cleaned the house together!
2. What is an example of a bridging statement you could start to use and believe in?
Tomorrows a new day.
3. Have you tried bridging statements before? Did they help?
I've told people that but didn't believe it and I don't think it helps personally I just get stuck in a rut and it's hard to pull myself out of it no matter what.
4. If we could give ourselves a holiday, what would we do?
I'd make a national love everyone day where everyone accept all bodies at least for that day and they're super kind.
@itidc
Hey there :)
It's okay to be late, no problems :) I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling very well lately, sending some hugs your way <3 Congrats on the shopping and cleaning, those are some good chores to get done.
I do agree, tomorrow is a new day. And guess what ? You'll never have to do yesterday again, so let's start off the next day from scratch :)
I understand that it can be hard to use these statements especially when you're stuck in a rut. Maybe you could try thinking about them when you're in a better mindset ?
Hum that sounds wonderful ! Though there are people out there who do accept all bodies, I hope you find some soon :)
Thanks for checking in, take care <3
@Slizzy564
Thank you it was a rough week randomly and the first one in months so it hit harder but I'm doing way better this week!
