Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Thursday, June 11th, 2020
Heya amazing people! Happy Thursday!
This one might look a bit dark, but it's also quite powerful to remind ourselves of these essential and amazing achievements! Because they definitely are achievements and big victories. Achievements are not only finishing first in a competition, or winning in a contest, completing a diploma and so on, achievements can be "I got up today", "I went for a walk" and most importantly: "I am still alive". Some might look like little victories when they're actually massive victories. So I guess that what I wanted to say today is: every victory is to be proud of. And it's also important to remember that we don't all have the same fights, so maybe for someone "getting up today" isn't a big thing, but for someone else it will be a huge thing!
I'm proud of you all, for your strength and all your work!
1) How are you doing?
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
3) What are some of your achievements?
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
Feel free to share anything else in your mind! Ill be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
@12kirby12 @1Disawsum @23Lotus @24Help1 @aar10 @Accentus @AdamantlyFree @addierus @admaiorasemper @aestheticmaddie @akagmai97 @Akor1 @AlexanderSpamilton @allnaturalBerry @amandaa6360 @Ambitiousthinker7178 @anabellamia1189 @anasierra @AnastasiaSmith @AndyDove1018 @AndyKade1018 @Annabanana1014 @Antisocial5864 @Aphrodite11 @ArriaAna @arrowsgoforward @Aryspencer15 @Asher2343 @asheroo92 @AstronomySkies @AThingCalledPax @AugustaGeorgia @AuroraBorealis12 @Autismaunt14 @avagraco @aviori @awesumturtlesz @Ayeeitsnotme @babybatman @Babycakex @badoinkitydoop @BandBeed100201 @bandnerd1002 @BandNerd100201 @bear228 @becca111111 @beniba08 @Bethfarmer @BipolarGrrl @Birdie998 @BisexualVirgo2023 @black1995 @Blackk1tten @BlamingParadox @Blcrss28 @blissedNblessed @Bloom97 @Boi @breezy @bribri20 @Brokentopieces356 @Brxcken @bubblzdancr @Bugggy @bugggy @BunnieLuv @butterflyPessimist @CaringBrit @CaringWater @Carrot20 @CarverT007 @CarverTea @casscub @cassie03 @Catlover456 @caylaig6295 @Centremid @Charly @Charmingbeauty55 @Chels2002 @Chester77 @chillingwave01 @CinematicEnd @ClassicAnonymous17 @cocoafp191 @compassionaterainbow1479 @CoNfIdEnCe1 @conscientiousOwl7693 @ConsiderateSea95 @CoolCuke @Creativepig @Dababy9322 @Dachs @Daenerys03 @Daisy @Dany @DaysiaKelly @delicateWindow53 @demonicangel @diamonddepree @DiscreetBeach2458 @discreetowl14 @discreetSkies9236 @Discretegrapes8490 @dispost @Drummermattrocks @DyingPetals @dynamicHemlock1736 @earthangel222 @earthkid @easyMap6620 @Ecargrace @Ediexo @ElephantTiger1 @ElizabethEon @elle1508 @Ellewoods24 @ellie455 @emily0303 @emmadancer @energeticApricot2459 @Eny0 @epitium @Erato @Evanora @EvilRegalsReadToo @exuberantRaspberries1213 @fairmindedRaspberries1389 @FallenStar2 @farahadell @FeathersOfJay @FindingPeaceWithin1 @Flornhope @FloweringBunny @fluffystuff @FranklyMaple @franky2OO0 @FrenchMarbles @fullm00n @funfettifrosting @Funfettifrostingi @funnyAcres8364 @funnybanana4728 @gayisok101 @generousKiwi8190 @gentleParadise1427 @Gin @glowingKiwi @Godsbae @goldenJoy721 @goldenSummer1903 @GoneLikeAnAngel @Greg40 @grej @HannahO11 @happydays447 @HelpfulAid @heyitsalli @HeyItsMish @HiddenShadows @hockey8628 @Hope2come @humorousBeing8966 @HunHansGirl @IfKpopWasPunk @Imaginativa2930 @imsorryitry @imthewalrus @Independenttangerine @IndigoRoses @InkyOwl @InspiringLee @IntellectualCake @intellectualCake2509 @intellectualHuman6814 @IntelligentWheel627 @Ismokereed @Itinerarium @ItsReganingRain @ivoryPenguin3999 @Iwannaliveanddream @iwishuwell @Jamie14 @Jashboi226 @Jennaray536 @Jenny34 @JinglesJudy @JohnCephas @juddskittycat @justkeepswimming7301 @JustThatAlien @KaidinJ @Kassy7cups @KayaBearz @kgyt0918 @kindDay278 @Kiwi16 @Krispykitty12 @laicrose @Lasagna1 @LauraB1996 @Leanna @leaveearly2716 @LetMeHeatItOut2 @Lexloveslife @Lilbabygirl @limegreen002 @LinearWaves @listenermegs @Littleblu @live2die1 @liztheloser123 @Logybear @LooneyArtimus @LostInTheWorldT @Love4all525 @LoveableLesbian @LovelyAnathema @Lovelydovee @LoveYaGod @LycheeBoba @Madaraismyspiritanimal @Maddheda @Mads @mads00742 @magicalBraveheart537 @MandaGPanda @marala11 @mariaquiiroga @Marissa1031 @mayaaaaaaa @Maypanic11 @minitigriss @MinMIn922 @Mint123 @Miraculousiris31 @Misfitzombie012 @MissGoodby99 @MJLV98 @modestCat9806 @modestVase1408 @Moosewithducks @msishihab @MysteryAnn @mytwistedsoul @naturalWillow84 @navyBlueberry2704 @NevaehRose @neverendingwaves @Nola1818 @noselfesteemloser101 @notanange @notmyselftoday @NotQuiteBlue @novareckenstein153 @otto123 @Outoftear @panwithnoplan @pastellexoxo @paytonfaye2003 @Peachkitten5883 @Penguin5921 @peoplej1997 @PessimisticHuman @PGP30 @pinkThinker6194 @plushOasis77 @politeHouse5612 @Popa @porter2927 @positiveTurtles @pumpkinpi @PunkyKitty @purpleButterfly24 @purplesnail @QueerChristianTeen @Quietcat2549 @quietman4875 @QuirkyAnne @RabbitTangerine @rainysierra27 @RALC20589 @raspberryMoon5394 @rationalComputer3503 @RAWR3 @ReallyNotOkay @rebecca947 @Redhawk6547 @Reesespeauntbuttercup @rexpeter99 @RiverHudson1 @rlpsgf @Ropes24 @rosenova1513 @Roseutopia @rosewater10 @SadAFSeth @Sadgirlforever @SadUnicorn5270 @sailorelix @SaintClrStudent @samgroves02 @Sana6399 @Saskianite @selfconfidenceTangerine1778 @Sewmachine @sewmachine @sgraceroe @ShadowTag @shymelody @Shyone7834 @Sierra56 @Silentguitarist @sillyavocado @SimpleMe12 @SisterRaven @Skafa1214 @Skyla @Skyy0 @slytherinstarling123 @Snowangels48 @Softhearted975 @softlysolitude @soniatel @SpaceyCasey @starkmechanic3000 @stellaadaviss @stellaluna04 @Stitch8989 @strangebagel @StrangeClarity @strawberrmilk @suling1986 @Survivor108 @TeresaGreninja91 @TheAtticusFinch @thebermuda @Thegirlwithabrokensmile @TherealJake @TheWeeb @Tommy38 @Totallovatic @TransWolf @Truth22 @turquoisePine1459 @twentyonepilotsclique @Twitch98 @Twotonnetable @Veerlexm @vikingwolf802 @VividDreamer @Waveywoop @WhiteWolfIdiot @willowgreen22 @Winterisnotmyseason @WitchySalem @WonderfulHart1330 @Xirin @XwonderlandgirlX @Yolo @youandmesohappily @Yovela @Zammn @zebrasarcastic
@LinearWaves
1. I'm alright. My head feels a little clearer today then it has for the first time in a while, which is good.
2. Well, one highlight and downside of yesterday was that my grandfather Skype called. He was in the hospital for about 2 years and ended up having a few strokes, and now has dementia as a result.
So it was great b/c we haven't been able to visit him since the lock down, and getting to see him makes him happy. But on the other hand, he is slowly forgetting us, but the worst part is he doesn't KNOW he's forgotten until he sees us (me and my siblings) again, so that just made him sad b/c he gets down on himself for that. ('HOW could I forget my grandchildren??')
So yeah, it was great to see him, and I know he was glad to see me and my siblings, but he quickly remembered he forgot us and got sad, so he ended up ending the call after 3-5min.
It was really hard, and I guess I can admit this anonymously, but I couldn't... it was a lot to handle, and I couldn't so I cut. It was just 2 small/shallow ones, but it still happened. This IS the first time I cut in 8 months (last time was October 2019), so that's good, but I just needed to. I had been thinking about it and fighting off the urges for so long, and I guess it's fitting today we're talking about small achievements b/c while I did cut, I only did 2, even though I wanted to do more.
The worst part of it is though, that I did it not in one of my usual spots, so it didn't help as much as it usually does. I didn't get quite the same clear feeling as I usually do. But it's too risky to cut in a usual spot, because it's harder to stop myself from doing more.
(Also sorry if this is triggering for some of you guys)
3. I guess only doing 2 cuts would count as one of my achievements.
4. Hmm, I don't know. I can never concretely decide on 1 tattoo idea, which is actually why I've never got one. (Well that, and the fact I'm broke. Lol)
Some ideas of tattoos I've been thinking about is a puzzle piece, chess piece or a heart to go on my wrist/hand area, or a dolphin or mermaid or something to go by my ankle.
@GhostGirl2
Hey there Ghost ! Its definitely good to hear that your head is feeling clearer today, especially if it has been a while since that happened!
Im really all heart with you about your grandfather, it must be really hard to see and to handle, especially since it brings very mixed emotions between being happy to see him but also sad that it makes him feel down and that it just cant be helped… I can totally understand how this drove you to cut, especially after having been fighting the urges for so long, but Im sooo very proud of you for fighting them and for keeping this positive mindset! It happened yes, but you prevented it from getting bad and this is an amazing victory! And it shows that youve already gone a long way on the recovery road!
I know right, its just so hard to pick one! Especially considering how expensive it would be to get them all done lol
Thanks for letting us know how youre doing, its always nice to hear from you, take care!
@GhostGirl2
I'm proud of you for limiting it. That's awesome. I say the way you controlled it is totally admirable. And that's so amazing that you were clean for so long!!! You are my hero.
I'm sorry about your grandfather though. That's super rough. I'm glad you got to at leat see him though.
@FigureskatingEquestrian
Wow...
I'M someone's hero??? I'm sorry but that just sounds bizarre. Definitely a title I don't deserve.
But thank-you very much for your reply. I'm glad I was able to help you, if at all.
I'm not used to all this kindness and suport, it feels so foreign for me to admit I f*cked up and not be met with blame or shaming.
Thank-you for your reply. ❤
@LinearWaves
Hi Linear! <3 Thank you for posting the check-in and I hope you're doing well. I love the idea of celebrating every victory. I use that saying a lot and often remind my peers/members that every win is a win and should be celebrated. :)
1) How are you doing?
I've had a lot of downs lately and just been feeling really sad overall. I have some stuff going on at home which sorta sucks and feel a bit overwhelmed with some stuff that I'm taking up these days but still managing.
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
I joined an online bookclub and being a part of last week's discussion was really enjoyable! I keep thinking about it because it reminds me of how much I want to join an IRL book club one day if I can find one after quarantine is officially over where I live.
3) What are some of your achievements?
I think the weekly achievement was getting an email to be a teen mentor for the 7 cups intern team!
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
Ouuu.. I used to want to do a deathly allows symbol but now I might get a pride flag or maybe "Memento Mori" somewhere on my neck or arm. :)
Take care Linear <3
@TheAtticusFinch
Heya Atticus ! Good to see you ! I even like to think theres a win in some losses, as we can always learn something, so… theres always a win everywhere :p
Im really sorry to hear that youve had lots of downs lately and been feeling sad and overwhelmed… It is hard when there are things going on at home, and it probably is even harder as were home a lot more due to the current situation… I hope things sort themselves out soon enough though, or that you can figure something out so as not to be as much affected and to take good care of yourself!
It sounds really cool that youve joined this bookclub, plus definitely a first step towards joining an IRL one as soon as things get better! Do you have a nice book youre currently reading? I find some book can really help me evade and soothe me, there was this book Ive read some time ago, The Restaurant of Love Regained, by Ito Ogawa, and it really just made me feel like I was in a much kinder world.
Thats definitely a great achievement! Youll make a great mentor Im sure!
These are cool ideas! I hope you can get them someday if/when you decide to!
Thanks for checking in, Im sending good vibes your way hoping things get better and less overwhelming at home <3 take care!
@TheAtticusFinch
Congrats on the advancement Finch (not sure how this whole site thing works, tbh). But it sounds impressive.
And yay for book clubs! Current read?
1) How are you doing?
Meh
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
I woke up and made it to work. I also got better sleep than I did the night before.
3) What are some of your achievements?
I finally cooked the pork chops that have been thawed out for a couple of days.
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
Me deciding on a tattoo? HA! You have placed too much faith into me.
@VivianTheBoy
Hey Vivian ! Its good to hear you got up and made it to work despite feeling meh, plus better sleep definitely sounds like an improvement.
Yay on cooking those pork chops, hope they taste nice!
Thanks for checking in and sharing how youve been doing, I hope you keep on getting better sleep, take care!
@LinearWaves
Thank you. I'm new here, and I'm still learning how the envirnment functions and such.
Oh yeah, Those pork chops turned out pretty tasty. I normally suck at seasoning meat, but I think I'm finally getting it. More salt is what I have been missing.
@LinearWaves
1) How are you doing?
I'm doing pretty good, a little tired!
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
Today my day has been pretty steadily positive!
3) What are some of your achievements?
An achievement is definitely making it this far! I also pushed through in recovery with SH and from an ED! Another one is just being an empathetic human.
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
I want a tattoo sleeve, so I don't know where I'd start! Probably with a rainbow semicolon:
Or a NEDA symbol!
@24Help1
Hey there ! Its nice to hear youre doing pretty good, although tired! Its also great to hear your day has been steadily positive, definitely a good thing to take!
These are really amazing achievements, Im really so proud of you for pushing through and fighting so hard, and staying empathetic, because something when things get tough we get bitter but you were able to fight and stay empathetic so thats amazing!
These are really lovely ideas of tattoos, plus great reminders of your achievements!
Thanks for sharing and letting us know how youve been doing, take care!
@LinearWaves
1) How are you doing?
I am doing well. I feel relatively balanced today and I feel like I can see things a lot more clearly.
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
The highlight is eating some delicious food and trying a new guided meditation.
3) What are some of your achievements?
I'd have to think about this question a little bit more and the concept of achievement.
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
I'd get an arrow on my forearm.
@Brynn9
Hey there Brynn !
Its nice to hear that youre doing well, feeling balanced and like you can see things more clearly!
These sound like really cool highlights, Im glad to hear youve been able to treat yourself with nice things after having worked hard at the start of the week!
Youre free to take all the time you need to think about it, and to come up with your own definition of achievements as well as it can be different for everyone.
Thanks for sharing today, take care!
@LinearWaves
1) How are you doing?
What a day. Started out with crippling panic attacks, and i wasn't sure I was going to make it. The abuse seems endless and I just hurt all over mentally and physically, and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it. But then in the middle of a panic attack, my friend called. She lives like 35 minutes away, and she came down and we went on a walk and she just listened. And her generosity and kinness broke me. I feel so loved and seen. Like there is hope and love and beauty in the world.
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
Downside: back to back panic attacks and strong SH and suicidal urges. Highlight: when I thought I couldn't go on any more....I got shows a love an compassion that I can't understand.
3) What are some of your achievements?
Hmmm......I failed a lot today. But I'm proud that I made myself do yoga and work out even though I felt so exhausted.
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
I'm not really a tattoo person sorry. But maybe the word Hope (in a different language to make it cool) on my wrist.
@FigureskatingEquestrian
Hey there ! Im really sorry to hear that your day started out with crippling panic attacks, they are so challenging to handle and it is so hard not to be sure that youll be able to make it… but you did! And that is amazing and needs to be remembered for other times! There is this quote that often empowers me a lot when things get really tough: So far youve survived 100% of your worst days. You are doing great. About your friend, its really heartwarming to hear that she supported you through this hard time! There is definitely hope, love and beauty in this world, it happens to be well-hidden though but every once in a while were lucky enough to discover a real gem. Im really happy to hear this has made you feel loved and seen, especially after yesterday when you mentioned wanting to believe you could be lovable, it seems that this happened at the very right time for that!
Im proud of you as well for doing yoga and working out despite feeling exhausted, I hope that you got a nice rest after that, especially since panics attacks and fighting off urges is just so exhausting…
Thanks for checking in and letting us know how youve been doing, its always great to hear from you!
1) How are you doing?
Awful
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
I cut and drew blood
3) What are some of your achievements?
IDK
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
I don't want a tattoo
@Nerdygirl16
Hey there ! Im really sorry to hear youre feeling awful and that you cut today… I hope youre safe though. Please dont hesitate to reach out if youd like to talk more about whats on your mind and if youd like to discuss alternatives to self-harm, or want support or just anything we can help you with, were here for you <3
1) How are you doing?
Alright.
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
Not much either way.
3) What are some of your achievements?
My usual just going through the motions. Not actively harming, eating, and what not.
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
Either about a dozen lines of writing. Or a realistic imagine if the inside of my head on the outside of my head.
@Flornhope
sounds like you are doing awesome. You are surging and staying strong. And not cutting is an accomplishment in and of itself. I'm cheering for you
@FigureskatingEquestrian Thank you very much it is much appreciated.
@Flornhope
Heya Florn, its good to hear youre doing alright ! Even if theres no real highlight of the day, at least theres no downside and it can be good to take. Its also really good that youre doing the usual, not actively harming and taking care of yourself by eating!
The latter one definitely sounds like a really nice and original idea! Thanks for sharing it and for checking in, its nice to hear how youve been doing, keep up the good work!
@LinearWaves I'm working on appreciating the little things. Not everything has to be a huge monumental accomplishment. Once I get a more stable situation and have things more in order I'm planning on getting the second one tattoo I mentioned. Thank you again
@Flornhope
It
What you wrote is meaningful for people with depresaion too, since doing anything is a great achievement...
How are you doing?
Not good...
2) What is the highlight/downside (if any) of your day?
Feeling alone...
3) What are some of your achievements?
They are many but nothing compared to others...
Measurements....acievevements?....
Love is not vain to measure achievements...❤ love is dedication and compassion and attachment and caring not about boasting about your "achievements"...if I am a bum I sti have a ❤ with no acievements...
4) If you were to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?
My tattoos are my surgery and injury scars and the scars in my soul...there will be not enough body for my tattoos...
@WorldsInMySoul
Hey there! I
@LinearWaves
You understood it right and I thank you again...