Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-In: Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020
Heya everyone! <3
I hope sometime along the week you can find some time to have a date with yourself, to take good care of your precious self with nice treats, self-care and show yourself lots of self-love ~ its a powerful tool!
1) How are you feeling today?
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate?
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself?
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!)
Feel free to share anything else in your mind! Ill be looking forward hearing from you all!
Take good care of your amazing selves, stay safe <3
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@LinearWaves
Linearrrr I think I'm a bit early to this post :P
1) How are you feeling today?
I'm feeling great today :)) was feeling a bit stressed out but I found a new self-care activity that brings me a lot of joy! It's penpalling friends and creating some cool art :D I think that's bringing me a lot of joy for today! I'm planning to spend half or 2/3rds of the day doing schoolwork/extracurriculars/productive stuff and the other parts of the day penpalling and reading and just fun stuff :) that makes me feel pretty great!
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate?
This week has been a bit hard and a few bumps on the road. I'm having a things with my best friend right now and it's a bit weird; I think we're going to be okay though and I might just give them some space. I think I'm learning how to accept things and how to forgive myself for things I can't control if that makes sense :o
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself?
I'm learning to appreciate the part of me that likes creativity! I might not be a creative person naturally but I enjoy being creative if that makes sense. :P
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!)
Self-care is good activism. :)
@TheAtticusFinch
Early? Naaaah it
@LinearWaves
Hey hey :)
1) How are you feeling today? You know what ? I'm happy ! And I'm happy to be happy :)
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate? Hum I'm having a good chill week :) I'm enjoying my time over at my brother's, feels like being family again, I haven't felt that for a while ... Nothing really to change, I can't wait for my neices to be born !! :)
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself? I like my soul and personality. I like that I'm a chill person with deep-ish thoughts. I like that I don't always follow the norm and am too busy daydreaming to do something productive x) As for my physical appearence, I'm still learning to love that x)
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!) You are so beautifully unique and singular that there'll always be something about you that I'll love.
@Slizzy564
Hey Slizzy ! Yay for being happy and happy to be happy ! I might add that Im happy that youre happy to be happy ;)
Its great to hear youre having a chill week, and that being at your brothers with your nieces almost there feels like being a family again, even before being born yet your nieces seem to bring a lot of positivity!
Its also really great to hear all youre loving about yourself! I hope that with time you can also learn to like your physical appearance, even though I totally get that it can take time.
Lovely quote, plus so true! Thanks for sharing it and for checking-in, take care!
1) Urge to SH is very strong tonight, just hating myself more and more as the day goes on. Only thing stopping me is a doctor appointment soon and knowing i can't hide where I SH in this weather so the doctor will see. Considering cancellign the appointment thoguh honestly.
2) Eh. I guess things I want to improve are social skills in general but at the same time, I don't like talking so idk.
@Lexloveslife
Heya Lex ! im sorry to hear the urges to SH were strong last night, with increasing hate towards yourself… Do you think something sparked this hate/urges? I hope the rest of the night went okay, how do you usually deal with hate, and urges?
I can totally relate with you on that! Social skills are tough when not liking talking… Im guessing its kinda like a compromise at some point though, as social skills are just needed, so a bit of talking is required but not too much when there is no need to make any effort! Are there specific situations on which you feel you need to improve your social skills?
Thanks for checking-in, take care!
@LinearWaves
Hey Waves, sorry for this super late reply! Something definitely sparked, feeling like I made a huge mistake and couldn't forgive myself for potentially ruining something so important. It turned out that I didn't ruin it but only after I acted on my thoughts :/ it has shown me that even if urges last for hours it doesn't mean I should act on them.
I usually deal with self hate by trying to counter those thoughts. And urges by doing something else that hurts but is safer, like holding an ice cube, snapping a rubber band, so on.
I really want to improve my skills in casual settings. I'm very monotonous (my voice), awkward (my body), and boring in real life (my lack of witty humor, storytelling skills, hobbies). Social skills during Zoom are also proving to be harder than I thought.
Thank you for responding and for these questions to answer here but also to reflect on privately!
@LinearWaves
Hey! Thank you for the post! I really like the smol dinosaur comic thing 🥺❤️
1) How are you feeling today?
Uh oh the scary question. I've been not so great today. I have been so tired and unmotivated and I have been just not feeling great recently.
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate?
Why all the scary questions today ;-; This week has been r o u g h. I want to improve on working on work when it needs to be done.
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself?
uh uh uh uhmnn one thing I like is how if I tell myself no and I really listen to myself I won't do what I shouldn't do. This week has been really rough for me and I almost relapsed but I didn't because I told myself it wasn't worth it. So I like that part of myself.
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!)
One of my favorite quotes is "It's okay not to be okay"
I feel like this is already a quote but I hopefully not so my quote is "Believe in yourself because you can accomplish more things then you think you can." Alsooo now I'm in an inspirational mood so my other quote (I hope this isn't already one) would be "Even when it seems really hard and you don't think you can handle it all just take a deep breath because it will all be okay even if it doesn't seem like it in the moment".
thank you again for making this post 🥺❤️
@Sydney113
Heya Sidney ! I know right, this dinosaur is looking adorable!
Im sorry for all the scary questions <3 and that you havent been great today, as well as recently, feeling tired and unmotivated, do you feel there is something specific that has been causing this?
This sounds like a really strong part of yourself! It sounds like a lot of discipline, its sometimes not so easy to know there is something we shouldnt do but actually tell ourselves no and keep our word, so thats definitely a part of yourself to like and to be proud of!
There are all so lovely quotes! Thanks for sharing them, I hope you can apply them for the rest of your week in case it stays rough!
Thank you for checking-in, its great to hear from you, take care!
1) How are you feeling today?
I am feeling like I am at a crossroads and how my day/feelings/life will go , is in my hands. I am feelings very emotional - like, riding this beautiful waves of all emotions - even sweet pain...but attatching to none of it. I am also listening to super emotional music and i love it. And i am in a...strange spot in life right now - so very contemplative.
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate?
I had a horrible week :( I even thought of SH - but didn't do it - why hurt bc im hurt. ( I finally can feel the desire to SH and still choose to not). I took a blood clot test and my results were bad :( then i had another test to see where they were. then had to sit and wait aroud wondering if i was going to be dying ..turns out - just put me on meds and i choose to quit smoking ( which messes with the results of test and puts me at risk). BUT - i had a moment of clarity - i dipped into the present moment, i felt THAT, i realized i shun myself away from life - holeing out in my house or hiding from others or not being activiley engaged n life. F that! People will judge me no matter what i do - lol, im doing what i feel is right for me now. i am getting to know myself. i am not hiding away anymore but every day im going out there ( or within) and finding the beauty of life - which is Always there). hahahha - sorry , long answer.
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself?
i love about myself: my resilence, open minded, compassionate, kind, i think of others, empathetic, active listener, artistic, creative, i write poetry and prose well, i sketch well, i can feel emotions in music, i can appreciate nature's beauty, i know i can change my reality or how i see things by perception change so i feel free, im spiritual, im smart ( even though i feel i have not used my intellect in a long time).
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!)
My quote:
" You are not given darkness so that you can stay stuck i it - you are given darkness so you can rise about it like the pheonix!"
My fav quote :
"Follow your bliss." - Joeseph Campbell
Feel free to share anything else:
just...thank you for being here for me/us/we
@blissedNblessed
Hey there ! How do you feel about this crossroads ? Do you feel that there is specific direction youd like to talk, or would you rather contemplate things a bit more before taking any direction maybe?
Im sorry to hear about how horrible your week has been so far… Im really proud of you for not giving in to SH though, thats really amazing that you felt the desire but still chose not to act on it, so resilient! Im sorry though to hear about the bad results on your blood clot test… in a way though, its good that this problem was identified and they could put you on meds, bad health results are never fun or pleasant, but its good to remember that spotting is always best early so as to be treated more efficiently, plus its great that you chose to quit smoking! And even better that you had this moment of clarity, I hope that this is the direction you can take, because yes as you say it so well, people will always judge no matter what you do, so you might as well enjoy what you do and do what you feel like!
Yay so many things to like about yourself! Thats great to hear! I hope youll discover even more and more to add to the list!
Lovely quotes! I always love the phoenix image!
And thank you for checking-in and being here with us, take care!
@LinearWaves
hugs.
i dont know the direction i want to take really....
i feel like i am on hold - waiting for more info while waiting to see if quitting smokig and these meds make a better testresult then if i have another good one after that...but life doesn't begin or end down the way...its right here /right now.
honestly - i am just starting to have more and more awake moments of clarity..seeing limitations i imposed on myself - or how i stayed stuck or victim i situations...its kinda crazy actually - like a better look behind the senes.
so right now i am riding waves of lots of intensities of emotions, getting to be kinder with family, and enjoying things like a cool breeze on my face - the way water feels on my hand, the smell of coffe ...random thigs that always were but im just really paying attetion.
would be ironic in a horrible way if i am just realizing this stuff but too late. But can you imagine the life i could carve out for myself if its not too late - encooperating all these new awarnesses and revelations? :D
@blissedNblessed
Its very okay to take a break before picking any direction, you never know maybe there is another direction that you hadnt see yet <3 its also important to remember that nothing is ever set in stone so whatever direction you end up picking, you can always change !
As for results, its tough waiting, not knowing if theyll improve but at the same time, we cant only just wait, we have to keep living and doing all we can to make the results better –taking the meds and quitting smoking- but enjoy the rest!
Its really lovely to see youre feeling more aware and mindful of your surroundings! And hey, you know what they say: better late than never! Mindfulness is all about enjoying the present time, I hope you can appreciate the things as they are and not worry too much about it being late!
@LinearWaves
thank you , yes, your so right - its not too late to enjoy the present moment and what life has to offer.
id say better late then never - but im not going to think negative about how much time there is - its not late...
i had to learn lessons and go through expiriences and develope the skills nesessary to be mindful for me to be able to have these revelations of life and myself. everything happens for a reason?
and thank you too for saying i do not have to make a choice of direction this second. because i am not sure what to do - i know i need a job and am having trouble finding one - but life is so much more than finding some job - thought it IS so very important.
but i think the choice i am making now is letting go of that which is not health for me, emotionally and physically, being mindful and lookig at how things really are ...and then after seeig this as they are, i will be best equipped to make the next decisionin my life and chose direction?
@blissedNblessed
I hope letting go of what
@LinearWaves
Hey there!
1) How are you feeling today?
I can't sleep, so I'm staying up late!
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate?
It's fantastic! Recently, I just finished watching two anime series: Fullmetal Alchemist and Backstreet Girls. The latter is about 3 yakuza men turned into a female idol group as punishment by their boss.
I'd like to improve my mood swings. It drastically affects my motivation.
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself?
I love how resourceful I can be when I have a goal I want to achieve.
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!)
I'll share a quote because I felt lazy to make one. x)
"Greed may not be good, but it's not bad either. You humans think greed is just for money or power, but everyone wants something that they can't have". - Greed, from Fullmetal Alchemist
Thanks for reading.
@LovelyOrangeJuice
Hey there ! I hope you can get some sleep sometime soon ! Although its cool to stay up late from times to times, but it can hurt the next day though haha!
Yay for such a great week! Oh this show sounds quite funny! I wonder how they come up with these scenarios!
I totally get you and can relate with you on mood swings, they can be tough to handle and really affect how our days go, our productivity and so on… Are there some ways youve thought about to handle your mood swings better?
Yay for being resourceful, thats such a good one!
Haha thats very okay, I actually added the part about sharing a quote because I knew if that was me, Id feel lazy as well :p Thanks for sharing this quote, it gives a lot to think about as greed is often badly seen and almost always described as material!
Thanks for checking-in, take care and rest well!
@LinearWaves, Heya!
I managed to sleep, so it's okay now.
The show is a mix of comedy and tragedy. I won't recommend it if you find the idea of sex change uncomfortable.
Yes, I find writing as a way to control my mood swings.
Yes! Yes! Greed isn't that bad at all. I believed that human beings are inherently selfish. But it's nothing to worry about, as long as you have control over yourself. It's the reason why I find confessions on the church ineffective. Because it's hard to avoid sins in our lifetime besides, it's awkward for me to share personal mistakes on a priest. I'm so dead to my parents if they knew about my point of view on religion. x)
Thanks for your reply. :)
@LovelyOrangeJuice
You
@LinearWaves
1) How are you feeling today?
I was feeling a bit panicky about how much there was to do. But sat down and got my thoughts in some kind of order, which helped. Also I am listening to my newest CD which I love so much! It is called "In Which" by The Teacups (the english folk band). I got an early release version, cos I was part of the kickstarter. It makes me unreasonably happily :)
2) How is your week going so far? Are there some things youd like to change/improve/celebrate?
Still need to get my sleep under control. I have been feeling really antsy and distracted at night, and not felt like going to bed, even though so tired. Need to just force myself to turn in sooner. Cos everything is better when you're not tired!
3) What do you love (or are learning to love/like/appreciate/tolerate) about yourself?
Thanks for the alternatives! I mean, I really do care about people. That has sometimes led me to neglect good boundaries and sacrifice self-care for the good of others in the past. But it is still a good quality. Just needs to be reigned in and brought into a balance.
4) Make up your own quote/saying! (or share one that you like or have heard recently if youre not feeling inspired, its okay too!)
I'm not much of one for originality :) I still come back to Kati Morton's "Process not Perfection". I have heard it quoted elsewhere as "progress not perfection" and I don''t like that version - because sometime there is regress, relapse. That can be part of a process, but is not necessarily "progress".
@1morday
Heya ! Its really great to hear that despite feeling stressed by everything you had to do, you managed to step back to put your thoughts in order! I wish I could do that more often! It sounds lovely that you can now enjoy some time listening to a new CD – Im listening to some of their songs as Im replying, and Im loving the vibe and voices so far!
Good luck on sleep, its a really tough one and can end up being quite the vicious circle… but its worth putting efforts in that area, as you say it so well: everything is better when you're not tired!
Caring about people definitely is a good quality! Im glad youre still seeing it that way, despite the wrongs it might have brought you in the past, its good that youre still as caring no matter what, but now more focused on finding balance with it!
I like your view on these two quotes, it gives a lot to think, its true that relapses are part of the process, whether we like it or not. Thanks for sharing your insight!
Thank you for checking-in, take care!