Self-Harm Recovery Daily Check-in: Saturday July 11th, 2020
Hey everyone! :) Happy Saturday!! I hope everyone has had an amazing week so far! I was at debate camp all week so I'm very behind on my replies, but I will be getting back to them right away. Debate camp was amazing this summer, even though it was online. I learned a lot and our team did really well!! I've grown a lot as a debater and I think today might be a good day to reflect on growth.
Sometimes during our self-harm recovery journey, we often can easily focus on the bad and forget about how much we've grown over time. Taking time to reflect on our growth and to ask ourselves growth-questions is important. It eventually turns into a growth mindset that can be really helpful with dealing with intrusive thoughts and self-harm thoughts. Growth-questions can be asking ourselves how we can move on from this moment and how we can grow from what has happened to us.
Check-in questions:
Mental health check-in <3 Use the graphic above and tell us what color heart you're feeling and why, if you're comfortable sharing. Feel free to share how you're doing and how your week has been!
How can you grow from what you're facing right now? (For example, I'm going through some school stress and I can grow by learning how to manage my time better)
What's your favorite soup?
What's your ideal vacation day/location?
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💚 I started to relapse, and going back to self harm.
@miraculousKoala374
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a hard time. People often think that relapse is synonym of going back to where they were before. Relapse is actually a very normal step in recovery, we all go through it. If you want to share your thoughts, we'll all listen to you. Hang in there <3
@miraculousKoala374
Koala I am really really sorry to hear that.. relapsing in self-harm is so difficult and I can't even imagine how rough it is for you right now. :( I hope you're able to talk about what you're going through with a friend or even a listener here on cups and get through it. I have a resource for alternatives to self-harm here and I hope you will be able to use it! Please continue to remind yourself that relapsing is normal and allowed, it's just a bump in a long journey of self-harm recovery that you will be able to get over soon. <3 Wishing you the best.
Hi! How are you?
1) I'm a green heart or maybe an orange one. ED was telling me to do some stuff and I fought it today by roasting carrots with oil and butter. My brain screamed at me though I controlled the ingredients, but I refuse to SH this way anymore. My body has been harmed many times before by me, by others & I'm deciding that's not ok no matter who does it.
2) I can grow from this by continuing to challenge my thoughts. Continuing to challenge the false beliefs instilled in me from others. Questioning them, "why do they think this about my body? Why are they concerned with my body? Why are they trying to control my body instead of worrying about themselves?" 90% of the time, there is no solid reason, thus no reason to let it get to me
3) I don't really drink soup! So I'm not sure. I feel like I've never tried enough soups / had soup often enough to claim a favorite
4) Someplace warm but not piping hot
@Lexloveslife
Hi there :)
You seem to have a very strong mindset. Reading your post made me want to challenge my thoughts aswell. It's funny how our minds come up with so much stuff that isn't true. I'm glad you seem to be in a good place at the moment.
Take care <3
@Lexloveslife
Hey Lex <3 Thank you for asking how I'm doing, I've been doing really well and taking it steady. ED is so tough combined with SH urges, Lex, I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through that lately. I love that you're able to try and control your thoughts in a healthy way and good job thinking of ways to challenge your thoughts as well. You're right that there are probably no answers to the questions that you listed, which proves that these are questions and things about yourself that aren't worth asking. Maybe we can phrase some of these questions, which are really well put together by the way, to "How can I think about my body in a more positive way" instead of "Why do I think about my body in this way". I hope that makes some sense! :) Hey I think I did a bad part in asking soup questions during the summer but I get you and warm weather isn't my favorite unless I'm tanning, but I respect it! I hope you have an amazing week. :) Take care <3
@TheAtticusFinch
Thanks! Yes, you're making sense. I think framing that way is much more productive, I'll do that!
What kind of weather do you prefer & how do you usually spend very hot summers, other than tanning?
Im really struggling right now 😔
@Glossytears
Hang in there my friend <3 If you want to share, feel free. We'll all listen to you here ! I hope things get better soon <3
@Slizzy564 Thanks so much Slizzy <3 it means lots
@Glossytears
Anytime <3
@Glossytears
Awwww I wish I could message you but we're on different sides of 7 cups :( I hope that things get better this week. Like Slizzy said, feel free to share if you want to share what's been going on, we're all here for you. <3 I hope you have some good ways to cope with whatever you're facing and a good support network around you as well. :)
@TheAtticusFinch Awww thanks so much Atti dont worry is fine i know teens cant talk to m that are in adult side but just being here means so much to me
Hi how are you all??
Well I think I feel represented by the green one becuase I'm having my ups and downs today and I've been very depressed but the good thing is that I didn't self harm since a few days.
And maybe I can grow by doing some exercise I guess or go for a walk. I was planning to do that.
I don't drink soup so I don't have one haha
My ideal vacation day and location has to be any summer day at the beach.
@Gagaintheroom
Doing good here thanks !
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeliing depressed, I hope things get better for you soon. Congrats on being clean !!
Going on a walk or exercising are very good ways to grow :)
Oh now I want to go to beach too !! :)
Take care <3
@Gagaintheroom
Hey Gagain! <3 Thank you for asking, I've been doing really well recently and I'm trying to find a balance between work and taking care of myself. :) Awww I'm so sorry to hear you've been having ups and downs, those are the absolute worst! It sounds to me like you've been coping with them really well lately so I'm proud of you for that <3 Also very happy to hear that you haven't self-harmed, that's a really hard urge to fight and I hope you have good safety plans to combat it if it becomes too much for you. <3 Exercising safely sounds good. I always try and work out every day and it helps improve my mood a lot! Woah :o seems like no one in this thread drinks soup hahaha <3 I miss the beach so much so I can really relate! The beach is so calming and watching the endless horizon is just so peace-bringing and gorgeous. <3 Take care and have a wonderful week!
Mental health check-in <3 Use the graphic above and tell us what color heart you're feeling and why, if you're comfortable sharing. Feel free to share how you're doing and how your week has been!
I need to reach out for support
I feel like suicicde thoughts cuz what i went through... i amn not okay
i need support i need reach out for support help!
How can you grow from what you're facing right now? (For example, I'm going through some school stress and I can grow by learning how to manage my time better)
What's your favorite soup?
I like vegetable Dal or vege bean soup.
What's your ideal vacation day/location?
Beach Sand Dessert
@MoonLightStone
Hey <3 I'm so sorry to hear that you're facing some suicidal thoughts right now.. that's some really serious stuff and I hope you're able to contact some resources. I've linked a website that will bring you to hotlines around the world here and also a website for more crisis resources here. I hope you get to stay safe and reach out for help. <3 Wanting to reach out for help is so important and I'm really proud of you for doing so. :) The soup you listed does sound good and I also miss the sand from the beach as well. Stay safe please :)
@TheAtticusFinch
1. My heart is orange. I have had a nice day. The shadow is trailing me, but I think that is because I did not take care to get enough sleep last nigh. I am going to sleep soon., to try to redress that.
2. Really for me, fixing a few basic habits as top and non-negotiable priorities is so important, because if I do them they stop me from getting anxious and starting to fell overwhelmed which is where SH thoughts come in for me. I am really committed to putting these things in place and guarding them, but it is a daily struggle.
3. I am really into Tom Yum soup with chicken these days (cos I think it works pretty well with my diet, and I love Thai food)
4. Vacation day - I think it would be sight seeing in a new place, preferably urban and culturally foreign, with some quiet hours in the hotel in the afternoon, and then dinner and one or two drinks in a nice restaurant before a not too late night. With trusted friends. Or family on a good day :)
@1morday
Hi there :)
I'm glad that you're having a good day. I hope that the shadow let's you have a bit of peace and quiet and that you catch up on your sleep.
You seem to be very self-aware of your thought process, that's so cool. I do relate on the everyday struggle with unwanted thoughts, as soon as I sit down and think too much they just seem to be there. I hope it gets easier for you with some practice.
Oooh I haven't had chicken soup for ages, sounds yummy :)
Your vacation day sounds so relaxing and chill. Where would you like to travel to ?
Take care <3
@1morday
Hey morday <3 thanks for responding today! I hope you get some rest soon and I'm glad to hear that you've been having a good day so far! :) Yesss, fixing habits is so important and I'm so glad that you realize that!! <3 I think it's incredibly powerful to fix the basic habits in our lives and also realize the priorities you have as well. These are all crucial steps in a self-recovery journey and I'm so proud that you're taking them! :) It's totally okay if self-harm thoughts take over, but be proud of yourself for all the effort that you've been putting in. That's so incredible <3 Tom yum soup is awesome we have a Thai place around 5 minutes away from my house and we always get Tom Yum soup. That sounds like the dream and I honestly would love a vacation like that as well!! :) <3 I want to travel with friends so badly. :( <3 I hope we both get to do that soon with our friends! Take care and I hope you have a wonderful week.
@TheAtticusFinch
1. My heart is orange. I have had a nice day. The shadow is trailing me, but I think that is because I did not take care to get enough sleep last nigh. I am going to sleep soon., to try to redress that.
2. Really for me, fixing a few basic habits as top and non-negotiable priorities is so important, because if I do them they stop me from getting anxious and starting to fell overwhelmed which is where SH thoughts come in for me. I am really committed to putting these things in place and guarding them, but it is a daily struggle.
3. I am really into Tom Yum soup with chicken these days (cos I think it works pretty well with my diet, and I love Thai food)
4. Vacation day - I think it would be sight seeing in a new place, preferably urban and culturally foreign, with some quiet hours in the hotel in the afternoon, and then dinner and one or two drinks in a nice restaurant before a not too late night. With trusted friends. Or family on a good day :)
Hello!
Mental health check-in <3 Use the graphic above and tell us what color heart you're feeling and why, if you're comfortable sharing. Feel free to share how you're doing and how your week has been!
Blue :c I'm having constant depressive episodes and panic attacks nowadays, I'm also in deep stress and I don't know how to handle it.
How can you grow from what you're facing right now? (For example, I'm going through some school stress and I can grow by learning how to manage my time better)
To be fair...I really don't know. And maybe I'm not ready either. I've been this way for years and years that even the struggle has become some sort of 'comfort zone' for me, even if it's not comfortable at all of course.
What's your favorite soup?
I love creamy mushroom soup :) I also love clear vegetable soup!!
What's your ideal vacation day/location?
I'd like to travel around the world! But, I'd equally love to spend my vacation at home by myself lol
Thank you for the check in! Take care ^w^
@Hydrangea03
Hey there !
I'm sorry to hear about the struggle with the depressive episodes and panic attacks.That must be very tiring for you ! Is your stress related to something precise or is it just a general type of stress ? I hope you manage to relax a little over the next couple of days or squeeze in some self-care time.
You know I think that sometimes we need to admit that we're not in the right place for growth sometimes and that's okay. Considering what you're going through at the moment, it's seems pretty normal that you have other priorities. Maybe when some of this blows over, you'll be able to look back on it and then consider how you've grown. I relate to your statement that the struggle seems to be a comfort zone. It's something that we get used to, we know what to expect and how everything works in this place. Knowing somewhere, being able to predict events and all that, is a source of comfort. Can you think of anything else that could bring the same comfort to you ?
Hum I'm not a fan of mushrooms but I'd love to share vegetable soup with you :)
Oooh I feel like that too : discovering the world sounds cool and there's so much to see but chilling out at home is so relaxing :)
Take care <3
Thank you for your thoughtful response, as always ^^
Yeah, its very exhausting :( I dont think Ive had a day in so long where I dont feel awful (bad day) or numb/empty (good day), to be honest. So maybe Im just having one of the bad days lol, but the fact that Im starting school again soon is a contributor to the stress.
It feels nice that you understood what I meant! Its very validating and yes, the ability to predict is indeed one of the sources of comfort. I dont know if I have other things that can bring me the same sense of comfort, Ill need to scramble through my mind for that lol 😔
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement too ^w^ And yayy veggie soup!!!
Take good care, and I hope youre well~
@Slizzy564
@Hydrangea03
You're welcome :)
When we're in a bad mood it's hard to spot the positive elements in our life. Having said that I find comfort in the fact that feelings never last forever. Being awful today doesn't mean that you can't be happier tomorrow (or the day after is tomorrow seems too soon). I understand that going back to school is stressful. I had a breakdown the other week when I had to go back to work. It's easier said than done but stressing about it now won't change anything in the future. Just taking things one at a time and leaving tomorrow's problems for tomorrow could be a way of pushing through this.
Validating ! That's the word I was looking for !! Take your time scrambling through your brain. If it can help, I find the same sort of comfort in music. I listen to songs that I know by heart. It's like greating an old friend.
Everything is fine over here thanks <3
@Hydrangea03
Hey Hydrangea <3 thanks for checking in yesterday. I'm really sorry to hear that oh no.. dang that really sounds like the worst and I hope that you have some people around you to support you through all of those panic attacks and stress that you're currently under. Often when we're under so much, it's easy to think out of fear and not out of creativity in how we handle our situations. Whether if it's thinking creatively like creating plans for you panic attacks or how to cope with your depressive episodes, I hope you're able to figure it all out soon. <3 I can so relate to what you talked about with your depressive symptoms and episodes becoming the "norm" for you, it's really difficult. We have to imagine a life that can be better than the one that we're living right now and strive towards that. :) Omg that creamy mushroom soup sounds so good!! :o I hope you're able to go spend vacation by yourself soon, that sounds really enjoyable and peaceful. I recognize that Slizzy has most likely said everything I've wanted to say but I hope this will add some extra reinforcement to some good vibes being sent your way. :)
@TheAtticusFinch, thank you for the good vibes! You're always so considerate :)
(Mushroom soup!!)
Take care, I hope you're well ^^
@TheAtticusFinch
Hey there :) How are you doing ? That debate camp sounds interesting ! What topics do you debate about ?
Mental health check-in I'd say orange for today. I'm doing good, dark thoughts aren't too far but they not bothering me for the moment. Feeling kinda lonely the past couple of days.
How can you grow from what you're facing right now? Hum I don't really know. I consider that what I'm facing right now has to do with my personnality so it's not really something I can change. I guess I could try to open up more.
What's your favorite soup? Sweet potato and carrots :)
What's your ideal vacation day/location? I'd like someone to take me to a place that they love and tell me why. I like to discover the world through other people's eyes if that makes any sense.
Take care <3
@Slizzy564
Slizzy!! First of all, thank you so much for responding to all of these replies while I was busy yesterday. <3 Greatly appreciated and so kind of you! Debate camp was so so so amazing in every way possible, even though it was online. The pre-announced topics were "The US should abolish the Electoral college" and "The US should pay reparations for slavery" and we had other impromptu topics as well. :) Thank you for asking about that hahaha <3 Aw, I'm sorry you've been feeling lonely lately *hugs* I hope you're able to do whatever you need to do to combat those lonely thoughts. Personality is hard to change, you're absolutely right. I struggle with this too! For example, I'm naturally a person who really wants to achieve a lot and that can often lead to me burning myself out, which isn't good. I might not be capable of changing my personality as an achiever, but I can change the way I approach achieving things in a more balanced and healthy way. Does that make sense? I hope you're able to get around the personality block though, regardless. :) Sweet potato and carrots was my favorite soup as a kid!! :D Woah, that's so romantic and something that I want myself hahaha <3 I love that and I hope you're able to do that soon. :) Take care!
@TheAtticusFinch
No worries ! It really is my pleasure, It's a good way to feel less lonely and it keeps my hands busy !
I'm glad you enjoyed yourself ! The topics sound pretty interesting, many different point of views can be proposed and explored. Suppose you get to learn quite a few things during these debates !
Thanks for the hugs :) Sending some back <3 I've been reading quite a bit, takes my mind off things !
It totally makes sense ! Even if you can't change your personality you can at least change the consequences. Being someone who finds it hard to open up, maybe I could start by trying to be more honest with myself so it'll make it easier to be honest with others ?
Add some cheese in it and it's perfect ;)
We'll see what the future has in store ;)
Selfharmed again... After 6 months... I think I am weak... Too weak to fight this
@GettingUp
I'm sorry :( Courage! I totally relate. I was clean for like 15 years and then relapsed. The fact you could do six months means you are working and developing some healthy coping skills. The fact that you relapsed just means you haven't got them perfect yet. I hope you can keep developing and using them. Process not perfection. Sending positive thought your way.
@1morday Thank you for your kind words <3
@GettingUp
Awhhh I'm so sorry to hear that, Getting. :( Relapsing is so hard, I know hon I know.. it's important to realize that it took a lot of strength to get where you are right now and that's a lot of strength. You are strong enough to get through this, I know you are. <3 Relapsing is so difficult, but it's only natural that we slip sometimes when we're running this long marathon in life. I hope you're not being too hard on yourself for it and I hope things get better soon this week. Sending you the warmest hugs and good vibes <3
@TheAtticusFinch You are so right... I like this point of view. And thanks for the hug! <3